Browsing: lifestylers

A few months ago, we were both surprised to find that we were extremely turned on by the idea of a full swap. Initially, the concept of full-on sex with someone else was a little intimidating and not quite an option for us. It wasn’t off-limits to discuss, but neither of us were quite comfortable with the idea just yet.

I mentioned that during Anne’s first full swap that I was on the verge of losing an erection. Well, that happened again and it was worse. Way worse. I know this is a common thing. I honestly didn’t think it would ever happen to me. I just turned thirty and am in the best shape of my life. Now I know how naive this line of thinking really is.

I have seen a few people in my years of being Poly who say or infer that they have a constant need to be told they aren’t being replaced. This tends to be a recurring problem with some newbies or people interested in exploring what the non-monogamous life is all about.

WANTED: Male partner in crime with a sharp mind, sound body and tarnished soul for sexual exploration and debauchery. You must be strong willed, enjoy the rush of intensity and expect both from your partner. I’m seeking a man strong enough to take me, but secure enough to be taken. Dependability will be rewarded with the trust needed to push boundaries. I’m a challenge. Are you up for it?

There are times in the Lifestyle when we are certain of things. Our choices and decisions are solid and we know what we need and want in any given moment. But, we also run into moments where we are uncertain. Times when we don’t know what to do and we depend on our partners to help us figure things out. But there are some things we can only count on ourselves for. One of them is knowing what we want and need in our relationships and if we are settling in the process.

Observing the little niceties is important. I’ve been in the Lifestyle for less than a year, but I’ve seen that the concept is generally practiced among swinging couples who know that good social graces improve the chances of making the best kind of new friends – those who will have sex with you. But good graces among the single men? Not so much.

We’ve all heard the coined phrase seen in many swinger profiles, many of us have encountered it and even some have experienced first hand the concept of taking one for the team in the swinging community. But, what exactly does this mean?