Browsing: The Lifestyle at a Gallop: Observations of a Unicorn

A unicorn takes us through her time in the swinging lifestyle.

I’m approaching the end of my first year in the Lifestyle and have lately been thinking about what I’ve learned along the way.

I have to confess that my motivation for giving this a try was purely physical. I’m a single, 40+ woman with the sex drive of a teenage boy. I just wasn’t getting laid often enough. I’d like to be able to say that’s changed, but frequency – or rather infrequency – has been one of my greatest disappointments about the Lifestyle.

There are a lot of gray areas in life, but I’ve tended to live mine in a black-or-white, all-or-nothing sort of way. Standing in the middle requires a lot of stamina and patience. The first I can manage if something is worth the effort, but the second? Um, yeah… Pardon me as I try to shake off a sudden vision of friends and family laughing so hard that they’re gasping for breath.

WANTED: Male partner in crime with a sharp mind, sound body and tarnished soul for sexual exploration and debauchery. You must be strong willed, enjoy the rush of intensity and expect both from your partner. I’m seeking a man strong enough to take me, but secure enough to be taken. Dependability will be rewarded with the trust needed to push boundaries. I’m a challenge. Are you up for it?

Observing the little niceties is important. I’ve been in the Lifestyle for less than a year, but I’ve seen that the concept is generally practiced among swinging couples who know that good social graces improve the chances of making the best kind of new friends – those who will have sex with you. But good graces among the single men? Not so much.

One of the advantages of being the only player on my swinging squad is that I don’t have to take one for the team. There’s no one pressuring me to settle for something less-than-desirable so that he can enjoy a tasty morsel.

I think I’m finally beginning to master Lifestyle-speak. I picked up the vocabulary fairly quickly, but I had a couple of slap-my-forehead moments before deciphering the subtext of some commonly heard statements and phrases.