Author: Derek Leannan

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Derek is a twenty-something guy living in a somewhat urban and rural community in the Midwest. When he's not on the occasional date or trying to get a poly community started in his area, he enjoys hanging out with friends and playing all sorts of different games. Life is sometimes different out in the cornfields, but that doesn't stop him from doing his best to bring polyamory into the open by living openly poly.

Last time in Part One, I talked about my experiences in the classroom at CatalystCon. The many lessons learned there and the wonderful presenters sharing them. However, they weren’t the only wonderful people or events at the conference. I also met plenty of wonderful con-goers, and made a few conference friends. You know the kind, the ones that you spend a lot of time with while you’re there, and look forward to seeing in future years? Well, I definitely made a few of those this year, and I learned quite a bit from them as well. One of the things…

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Coming to back CatalystCon felt a lot like coming home. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed this space until I came back; finding people who share so many similar beliefs as you is simply astounding. Being at a place that emphasizes consent culture, and models it so very well is fabulous. There is a genuine feeling of safety here; that you can be who you are, however that may be. You can express your gender, sexuality, how monogamous you are (or aren’t), and so many other personality traits about you. It’s okay to be shy. It’s okay to…

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Long distance relationships suck. There’s no two ways about it. Especially if you’re someone like me, where physical affection is one of the major ways that you receive love. Not having someone to just reach out and touch, have a cuddle, or something more; it becomes draining after a while. But it has given me a unique perspective. Since I’m polyamorous, but I’m also in a long distance relationship, most of the time, I might as well be single. Being “single yet not” comes with a slew of perks, as well as drawbacks. I don’t have to plan around my…

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Looking back at the past year, with the wonderful view of hindsight, I see a pattern. A pattern of growth. A pattern of change. But instead of the chaos that typically surrounds me, this seems to have direction, a purpose. There is a goal. Every year for the past seven years, I have had a simple resolution; to be a better person than I was the year before. This marks the eighth such year that I want to maintain that resolution. However, unlike previous years, I want to give this more direction. I plan on bettering myself in a physical…

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Some days, I don’t entirely feel like I fit in to this crazy world. Shocking, I’m sure. Being fairly open about being polyamorous usually puts me in a different section of the population. This “issue” has only been expanded over the past few months, as I find myself hanging out more and more with the local kink/BDSM community. They are a wonderful group of people, and are perfectly accepting of the whole polyamory thing. That was one of the reasons I hung around at first, though it has blossomed far beyond that in the past several months. In contrast to what…

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Out here in the cornfields, sometimes you have to take community where you can find it. There isn’t really a polyamory community, per say. There’s something close though. It just happens to more-or-less completely overlap with the BDSM community. This isn’t a bad thing, though it has been a frustration for me at times. However, a recent weekend has completely turned that on it’s head. I pushed a boundary of mine, and was pleasantly surprised. I attended my first ever play party. I’ve been trying to reflect, cherish, and truly appreciate everything I saw and participated in. The amount of…

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I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting here lately. I don’t quite feel at home in the cornfields, and I’m trying to figure out why. It’s not so hard really, I don’t feel like I have much community out here. I do have some; friends and acquaintances with quite a number of mutual hobbies. But I don’t feel like I have many people to talk with about my personal growth, ones who moreso “get it.”  And so I’m out here, wrestling with myself, trying to find the answers within. Don’t get me wrong, the online community is amazing. I…

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So, after much waiting, this past weekend was Catalyst Con. If this is the first that you’ve heard of this, shame on you! The Swingset crew has been advertising this conference for weeks now! Months even! However, I’m going to assume you were aware of it. Heck, you might have been one of the people attending. The convention was amazing, and I’m so happy that I was talked into going. A few months ago, I heard about two wonderful conventions going on this past weekend: Atlanta Poly Weekend and Catalyst Con. I heard about Atlanta Poly Weekend first, and was…

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Love can be tough. That’s especially true out here in the cornfields, at least for a polyamorous guy such as myself. There’s not exactly a lot of poly folk out here, and so far I’m not so big on the conversion front. Kate, my ex who was mentioned a couple of posts back, was and still is definitely monogamous. She’s also the person I’ve easily been in a relationship with the longest; coming in just a day under 6 years. I definitely learned a lot about dating with her, but every now and again I find myself hitting a bad…

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I know that both out here in the cornfields, and in society at large, not everyone is going to “get” polyamory. Yes, some people get it, but some can’t wrap their heads around it, and others disagree with it further. They may think it’s an aberration, an excuse to have all of the sex could possibly want, or any other number of perversities. Usually I can kind of ignore that, educate, or if it’s really bad, just walk away. Sometimes though, it comes from someone who you can’t just ignore; sometimes, it’s from a friend. I shared a post that someone brought to…

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