Browsing: vanilla

Mr. D. and I use the term “vanilla plus” so often that we assume everyone…

I ended my last blog with a question: What are some reasons that couples take a break from swinging? Over dinner with the Wonderfuls, we learned their answer – they were not stepping toward monogamy again. Instead, they had stepped in the opposite direction toward polyamory.

The Swingset received a request for advice the other day, and since I’m not locked in the top secret Swingset toy testing lab all day, I thought I’d use it to launch an advice column.

So bring on the questions! I’ll do my best to answer them and provide any guidance I can. Just note that the advice free, and I really know very little about anything. Email to

Today I’m a swinging unicorn, but if you dig through all the other labels I’ve worn over the years, the one that’s always been firmly attached to my psyche is “southern girl.”

With all of the lifestyle parties, social gatherings, monthly girls wine parties and the like, my husband and I occasionally ask ourselves, do we have any normal friends left? Should we seek out more vanilla friends for some sense of balance, or should we just enjoy that we are fully integrated into the lifestyle community and relish the friends that we’ve made here over the years?