Mr. D. and I use the term “vanilla plus” so often that we assume everyone knows what we mean. It’s a super helpful concept. We use it to describe people who are not “out” as being in the lifestyle. And they may have no intentions of ever actually participating in the lifestyle. But they still have that open vibe that we love in the lifestyle world.
Vanilla plus people are confident, sexy, and willing to take risks. They laugh and share of themselves (although perhaps not physically like we do). They embrace life and are willing to accept those different than themselves.
When Mr. D. and I are describing someone new to each other, “vanilla plus” ends up being a short hand for someone who we could embrace and who might embrace our quirky selves as well. One of us, in the broader sense of the word.
We seek out the vanilla plus of the world. They tend to be people who know who they are and have done the work to be confident in their own skin. And they have no problem rocking a short skirt and heels either, or whatever they think is sexy. We raise our glass to all of the Vanilla Plus out there. Hope to meet you some day.
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We love “Vanilla Plus”!
We’re a confident couple who really enjoy the vibe of swinging but not actually swinging. There’s this indescribable fun, if you will, of feeling free to enjoy this kind of sexual energy with other people and having them wonder, do they swing?
We’ve visited swing clubs many times and we love watching and being watched. One time, we had an amazing time with g/g but that’s as close as we’ve come to “swinging”.
What we enjoy most often is going to a dance venue with a couple of women friends and all dressed in CFM heels, short skirts and low cut tops. They pretend it’s a girls night out and he watches them both enjoy getting hit on by other guys while he also hits on other women. At the end of the evening we (excluding the woman friend) go home and have amazing sex.
It takes a lot of communication and confidence to do this and it’s definitely not for everyone. But for us it’s a great life!