When Worlds Collide – Mingling Vanillas and Swingers


When Worlds Collide - Mingling Vanillas and SwingersI posted how Anne and I have outed ourselves as swingers to our close friends. I found out about a wine tasting and sent out an invite to all my local friends, monogamous and non-monogamous, on Facebook. I had four vanilla-ish friends come and one swinger friend (she came without her husband as he had to work). They all arrived at my house, I introduced my non-monogamous friend to the others, and off we went to the tasting.

The wine tasting was fun and fairly uneventful. The only thing that sticks out in my mind is when all of the ladies were in line for one wine and the guys were in another line. The first thing they said to me was, “So, you have sexual relations with her?” I tried to evade the question as it isn’t my place to out her, but my friends aren’t retarded. Plus, they know about me being a swinger. Still, I didn't feel it was my place to out her.

Slight tangent at this point. Of my four vanilla-ish friends, two of them are married and the other two are dating (but not exclusively). The dating friends would kiss and behave like a couple, then they (mostly him) would flirt with other people. On reflection, they are obviously non-monogamous. They are together and know that the other person could have another person on the side. They don’t disclose anything to each other. I am not sure they want to know. They have exclusively dated in the past and both cheated (though at the time they lived two states apart). Seeing them just made so many questions arise in my mind. They would certainly not say they were polyamorous, but aren’t they (minus the communication which is probably the most important part)? How often are people like this and everyone thinks it is normal? Or does it only seem normal to me because of the life I lead?

And now back to our regularly scheduled story… Afterwards, we are all tipsy on wine, it is hard to get drunk when they give you an ounce at a time. We decided we needed food and promptly looked for a place to eat. First we tried a pub, but they told us the whole place was rented out to a party. So, we ended up at the piano bar. They seated us in the back which was probably for the best. My friend ordered a round of shots for everyone. I think it was Jameson. Somehow this lead to my wife, our swinger friend and our married lady friend all making out. My two guy friends even kissed a few times, then discussed how beards made kissing men weird. This was probably the most shocking thing. I have kissed the married man before, but not the other man. The other man is very much a straight guy. He isn’t afraid of being gay or a homophobe, but I would have never thought that would happen – not in a million years.

Being who I am and having seen all this, I was wondering where the night was headed. Well where it was headed was to the ladies room as my wife, Anne, and our married friend vomited. After what seemed like forever, and with the help of the other two ladies, they were prepared to travel. We all walked back to our house, where those two spent some more time by toilets then promptly passed out. Everyone else sobered up and headed out. So, that is pretty much how that ended, but seriously, that certainly was not a typical night out with friends. Bringing these two worlds of mine together seems to be working out in strange and wonderful ways.


An average suburbanite barely into his 30s, Jack has recently begun a more exciting secret sexy life with his wife, Anne. These experiences have led him to preach the gospel of sex positivity and safer sex to anyone who will listen.

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