Author: The Salmon

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The Salmon is exploring swinging and poly as a married single. Married for over 20 years, he and his love explore non-monogamy together and in different ways.

It is no secret that before I entered the lifestyle I drank too much. In truth, I was consuming a 1.75 liter bottle rum in about 2-3 days, every day for well over a year. I was trying to drink myself to death, like Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. I truly believed that my life as it was had come to an end and that I was killing time until death overcame me, so I might as well “enjoy” it. My marriage and my relationships with my kids and my friends were all affected by this attitude and relationship…

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Having recently listened to LOTSS recent podcast 278 accessorizing our sex lives, Wisdom and I wanted to add our two cents (usually much more) to the accessory discussion. Toys are one of the ways we bring new people in to sexy time, usually through natural curiosity: “How does THAT work?” Many times this has led to some really awesome sexy time, other times it has fallen flat. Not everybody likes the same things, and even we ourselves have been disappointed when a brand new toy (and a Christmas present no less) turns out not to fit as expected when placed…

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So… it’s been a while.  My previous (and only) entry for the past year was the divorce crater, hardly a feel good article. One I felt I needed to write at three different points in the grieving process for a marriage ended. There have been good moments in the past year, a lot of them, some of which I hope you will read in this blog in the days to come. Some are half written articles that need the dedication to complete; some are merely fancies in my mind at this point. (like… how is swinging like playing the bagpipes).…

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I have no cutesy title for this chapter of the blog, no explanabrag, no clever reference to a recent podcast. I am faced with white paper (ok white screen) with a few words and lots to say. I am getting divorced. Those four words hang like a guillotine, something inconceivable a year ago, but inevitable now. Like other nonmonogamous people, especially those who write about their lives and adventures in the marketplace of ideas, I find that shame, blame, doubt, and all other lovely emotional storms rise up. How did I let this happen? How do I feel? And…Where do…

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One of the challenges of being part of a sexual subculture in a society that sometimes doesn’t really approve of sex is in finding ways to reach out to other people. This is difficult in a vanilla world where one’s career or community position can be put at risk from too much information being public.   Several months ago, I was at a vendor meeting (I work in tech) with a smart attractive woman wearing an infinity necklace, decently concealed beneath her clothes. (I wasn’t deliberately looking down her shirt… really… what terrible things you must think of me!) I…

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“Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.” Emerson Some months ago my role play adventure at the swing/sex club that Wisdom and I enjoy ended with the promise of a part 2, her fantasy won fairly through her trivia wins. But first some backstory. Wisdom’s introduction to kink and swinging came through another partner some time before I met her. Through sensory deprivation, and trial and error they discovered many things she liked, and a few things she didn’t like. She is not a fan of rope, nor of being tied, and (unlike me) does not like suspension at…

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“We are game playing fun having creatures.We are the otters of the universe.” So reads Richard Bach’s Illusions. I believe this to be true, and I have thoroughly enjoyed finding sexy playtime for me and my partners. Both of my poly partners live some distance from me, so we tend to communicate via text. We also play the Trivia Crack app and made up our own rules with the victor of the game making a request of the loser. Some examples of requests that have been granted or are outstanding… go to a nude beach together, find three erotica pieces…

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During my speed dating event, I was introduced to the poly community in a nearby metropolitan area. I would like to say the people I met there developed into long lasting friendships… I’d like to say that. But in truth, the only person I developed any long lasting relationship with is Gwen. She is active in the poly community, both online and in this nearby city. She was also the person who encouraged me to attend the speed dating event in the first place. We were originally on the program for a speed date, but a last minute reshuffle took…

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Five months ago I completed a very personal piece for my Swingset readers. Unlike my sexy times, or internal emotional issues that I had to overcome, in A Bridge Too Far I wrote about Erectile Dysfunction. As a diabetic and a recovering alcoholic I had demons to battle long before I attempted to lock horns with this one, and my readers have been very kind and supportive since publication. Call me superficial, but I was afraid that coming forward with such a difficult subject, and with an even more difficult solution, would put people off, and make me appear less…

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When we last left our hero…I had met the wondrous, polyamorous person nicknamed on these pages as Wisdom. After the party events described in Butterflies, Wisdom and I became friends, then lovers, and then partners. I found myself in polyamory and deep in NRE. I told her about my swinging activities, and she did not turn away in horror or disgust. Instead she turned towards me and embraced me and (to a degree) my lifestyle. She reads my blogs, and in truth, for a while I haven’t written as I have been living the dream rather than writing about it.…

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