So… it’s been a while. My previous (and only) entry for the past year was the divorce crater, hardly a feel good article. One I felt I needed to write at three different points in the grieving process for a marriage ended. There have been good moments in the past year, a lot of them, some of which I hope you will read in this blog in the days to come. Some are half written articles that need the dedication to complete; some are merely fancies in my mind at this point. (like… how is swinging like playing the bagpipes). I hope most will be shared with my fellow Swingsetters.
My divorce agreements are complete, pending the 90 day period between the judge’s gavel and the final legal paperwork. I silenced my pen to minimize my legal difficulties and also because I wasn’t really in a writing space, sometimes rarely in a sexy space. Because I have something of closure now, I think I can now stop playing Pink Floyd’s “Dogs” and Genesis’ “Domino” on endless repeat; time for some gratitude.
I have a new home. Wisdom and I moved closer to the city, and closer to her poly community. We share a house with her daughter and another roommate and live closer to the club, to sexy people, but considerably farther from my work. Our home is quirky and artistic, she being the visual and performance artist, I the musician. Our house is full of color, glitter music and dancing (We have begun ballroom dancing lessons. This will also be covered in a future article about how ballroom dancing is like swinging.)
Living full-time with Wisdom’s child also brings its own challenges. We cannot easily host sexy times at home, and late-night babysitters are expensive and hard to find. Thankfully she has several friends for sleepovers. We also have to be careful about what she sees and hears. Wisdom told me the other day that when they were watching TV, her daughter saw the ad for the new “50 Shades Darker” movie. “Look, mommy, they’re wearing masks like the masquerades you go to.” Wisdom told me she thought, “Kid, you have no idea.” But we work through the challenges, as so many other swinging couples with young kids do.
Wisdom and I have now been in love now for quite some time, our lives turning towards each other throughout. Our relationship is polyamorous, with both of us seeing other people in ever-changing relationship roles. As poly is custom fit for each relationship, the things that might work for us might not work for anybody else. I am delightfully happy with Wisdom, ending my day with her scent in my nose, greeting the dawn with the first sunlight reflected off her curves.
There have also been plenty of sexy times, at the club with old friends and new, at private parties, and with couples or sometimes bi single men or women. We hold onto the hope of attending Desire with Cooper and the gang in 2017. I will try and share all; mistakes, triumphs and complete fuckups. I am still learning after all this time, but Swingset has given me the tools to not be afraid of lessons learned, not to be afraid of self-improvement and to not be afraid of sharing. I no longer swing as a single male very often (though I do occasionally) and I spend more time connecting with people in person and online. Swinging with a partner is different than before, easier in some ways, harder in others. This will be the main subject of another future article.
I have missed sharing this space with you, the readers. I have missed the catharsis, the explainabrag, and the feeling that I am a part of something larger than myself. I needed the break, as our Swingset hosts have needed breaks along the way. Welcome home, Salmon.