Author: The Salmon

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The Salmon is exploring swinging and poly as a married single. Married for over 20 years, he and his love explore non-monogamy together and in different ways.

It is my favorite time of the year. The days are as long as they are going to get, and the early mornings are cool and beautiful for running. The evenings are long and stretch past my occasional bedtime. I ran this morning on a path covered by blossoms from a tree thinking it was still late Spring. I turned around early as deerflies and black flies swarmed around my head, looking for fresh blood infused with coffee and sugar. Such is summer in New England. It has been a little over a year since my adventures in nonmonogamy began.…

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Ok, I had first heard of the term speed dating from my Swingset hosts’ description of activities at Desire. I suppose the term is somewhat self-explanatory, but for those of us who haven’t tried it, doesn’t it seems a little…weird? I have been participating actively in a poly roundtable discussion in my nearest city. I have reached out to several poly people on OK Cupid, and I have even dated again, after a very long hiatus. I have also joined several meetups, where I discovered a poly speed dating event at a larger metropolitan area not nearly as close as…

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The party was over an hour away. I had been to this one before, great people, low pressure, usually a really fun night out. The party had a comic book super hero theme, something I had nothing appropriate to wear whatsoever. So I gave myself some additional time to locate and purchase some fun clothing. Some Batman themed pajama pants and a Batman t-shirt and I was in business, well at least I will be comfortable. Arriving at a party is always interesting, if a little stressful. I get a little nervous before show time. I frequently take about 30…

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I have been swinging for almost a year now. From very humble beginnings, I have tried to preserve my thoughts and actions in this corner of the internet. There have been many smiles, a couple of laughs and a few tears. But throughout, my adventures there has been an overarching theme… what have I learned? (I am stealing a page out of Dylan’s book). Even from my earliest writing I have identified a simmering issue, a leitmotif beneath and throughout the theme, with my challenges to get and keep an erection while playing. Non-monogamy has been very good for me.…

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Life is an amazing adventure. Since beginning this journey, I have found myself in situations and experiences I have only dreamed of, and even a few I couldn’t conceive of at all. What surprises me most of all, and I don’t know why, is that I find great people regardless of the situation. Yes, I have met a very few jerks, but for the most part, douche-baggery is not encouraged in nonmonogamy lifestyles. I attended a party some months ago, with a group which has struggled a bit. I could not attend their first party, and the next two parties,…

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I will admit something to my readers. I am a nerd. It seems a little less painful writing here on a sheet of paper for all to see, but there is a long history associated with it of seeking acceptance for who I am. It is only recently that I have begun to own my nerdiness, even to embrace it, as the person I am, and to no longer feel shame about it. (I highly recommend Charlie Glickman’s Swingset podcast on shame. It’s not always easy to listen to, there are hard ideas presented throughout. ) I was invited recently…

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If you have read my previous blogs, if there is an aphorism or phrase that neatly sums up my experience in the swinging world it would probably be “What the hell am I doing?” Even with over 150 podcasts, and plenty of blogs from lots of contributors (thank you all), there comes a time when you have to just do it, whatever it is. Whether it is your first swing party, club or date, the theoretical knowledge needs to be placed aside and supplemented with experience. I can read about fun sexy time all I want (and it all sounds…

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At one of the meet and greet parties I started branching out into over the winter, I attended a party where I met this wonderful woman. There was more than just a click for me at any rate, she was smart, funny, self-aware, and not afraid to try new things. I asked her if she would meet me at other events and she agreed. We attended another play party, not at my club, and while we didn’t exactly ignore the other participants, I lost myself in her attentions. We played by ourselves off in a corner that seemed private enough…

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One of the great ironies of my life is that living as I do so near the ocean, in addition to plenty of lakes and ponds, I do not swim well. I was a skinny teen, and as a result was much more likely to sink to the bottom than to float. I never grew comfortable swimming over my head, and have a mild fear of deep water. Most of my swimming has been close to shore, or very close to something I can stand upon or hold onto as a crutch against my fear. As this winter came, I…

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Choosing to begin swinging was a life changing event, for me it gave me a new perspective on myself my love and my family. It gave me the courage to put down drinking, and gave me reasons to live that I could not see as clearly before. As I read some of my writing from that beginning, I love the joy, the paradigm shift newly experienced. It is hard not to become jaded. It is very hard not to think of swinging as an additional attribute of our daily lives, like Cooper’s knitting or Dylan’s musical interests. I fuck other…

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