Author Ms Deed

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Ms Deed is a 40+ single woman who freed her hedonist tendencies when she discovered the Lifestyle in 2011. She lives in the wilds of South Florida, where much stranger things have happened.

Blogs Reflections on a Year in the Swinging Lifestyle
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Reflections on a Year in the Swinging Lifestyle

I’m approaching the end of my first year in the Lifestyle and have lately been thinking about what I’ve learned along the way.

I have to confess that my motivation for giving this a try was purely physical. I’m a single, 40+ woman with the sex drive of a teenage boy. I just wasn’t getting laid often enough. I’d like to be able to say that’s changed, but frequency – or rather infrequency – has been one of my greatest disappointments about the Lifestyle.

The Lifestyle at a Gallop: Observations of a Unicorn Magic of Moresomes - Group Sex in the Lifestyle
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The Magic of Moresomes – Group Sex in the Lifestyle

There are a lot of gray areas in life, but I’ve tended to live mine in a black-or-white, all-or-nothing sort of way. Standing in the middle requires a lot of stamina and patience. The first I can manage if something is worth the effort, but the second? Um, yeah… Pardon me as I try to shake off a sudden vision of friends and family laughing so hard that they’re gasping for breath.

Blogs Finding the Perfect Partner - Searching For Mr. Lifestyle Right
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Finding the Perfect Partner – Searching For Mr. Lifestyle Right

WANTED: Male partner in crime with a sharp mind, sound body and tarnished soul for sexual exploration and debauchery. You must be strong willed, enjoy the rush of intensity and expect both from your partner. I’m seeking a man strong enough to take me, but secure enough to be taken. Dependability will be rewarded with the trust needed to push boundaries. I’m a challenge. Are you up for it?

The Lifestyle at a Gallop: Observations of a Unicorn Single Guys Make an Impression – The Black Sheep of the Swinging Lifestyle
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Single Guys Make an Impression – The Black Sheep of the Swinging Lifestyle

Observing the little niceties is important. I’ve been in the Lifestyle for less than a year, but I’ve seen that the concept is generally practiced among swinging couples who know that good social graces improve the chances of making the best kind of new friends – those who will have sex with you. But good graces among the single men? Not so much.

Blogs I Am The Team
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I Am The Team

One of the advantages of being the only player on my swinging squad is that I don’t have to take one for the team. There’s no one pressuring me to settle for something less-than-desirable so that he can enjoy a tasty morsel.

Blogs Translating Swinger-Speak
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Translating Swinger-Speak

I think I’m finally beginning to master Lifestyle-speak. I picked up the vocabulary fairly quickly, but I had a couple of slap-my-forehead moments before deciphering the subtext of some commonly heard statements and phrases.

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