Author: He Said

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He Said and She Said (not their given names) are 40-somethings married for 20-something years living in a large Southern US city. Spurred into action by their landscaper's tales of consensual non-monogamy, they have enjoyed swinging - and blogging about it - since 2010.

It’s hard to believe it has been 9 months since our last post. With a nod to Shira and Gavin’s new podcast, it feels like Mrs. Said and I have been participating in Pedestrian Swingery this year. There just hasn’t been much going on that was noteworthy. But today brings fresh material, so let’s dive right in after a little background. Over the past year or so we have developed a great friendship with a go-to couple. Lacking a better handle, let’s call them Mr. & Mrs. GoTo. We’ve had vanilla dates, swinger dates, weekends traveling together. We’ve gotten together…

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This post is dedicated to the 4 people who commented on my previous story about Mr. Droopy. Thank you for your kind words of support. Yes, my legion of adoring fans — all of whom could fit in any reasonably-priced, mid-size sedan — I succeeded in having penetrative sex with a woman. That would not be otherwise noteworthy if it weren’t for the fact that this was my first full swap experience taken to completion. My first non-Mrs-Said f*cking since the George Herbert Walker Bush presidency!! Can you tell from my tone that I am pretty happy? Yes, I realize…

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What a week! Mrs. Said and I are enjoying a quiet day, after staying out too late at a meet-and-greet. The last week or so has been pegging the fun-swing-o-meter. The week began with a couple days of text flirting with our favorite couple to the point of worrying if it was getting too serious. We have spent some fun vanilla times with them and are quite excited about our next horizontal opportunities. Being new to this, I may be talking out my arse but it seems that there is a continuum with anonymous sex at a swing club on…

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When everything goes swimmingly, I blog about it quickly and happily. It has taken me many weeks to bang out this blog about two experiences Mrs. Said and I had. Unpleasant endings to REALLY fun nights where things just petered out. Right up front: I went soft. Flaccid. Limp. It has taken quite a bit of time to recover mentally from that oh-so-unmanly setback. By now I have alternately processed, worked through, analyzed, capitulated, examined, explained, exaggerated, and minimized the experience and am ready to blog about it. As you, dear reader, may know, Mrs. Said and I are keeping…

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Satisfaction of desires is what this lifestyle is all about, no? If you’ve read any of our other posts, you know the Saids are newbies. We’ve spent a good bit of time sitting back, pondering all the dishes available on the swinger smorgasboard, cogitating in the abstract, fantasizing in the hypothetical…. We’ve even done a little actual swinging. Enough to know we are full swap but haven’t had the right situation to try that out. When we first started talking, soft-swap/finish-with-your-partner-only seemed to be comfortable. I can’t quite remember what my rationale was, but I came into this wanting more…

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photo by Joelk75 Mrs. Said and I were at dinner last night lamenting the fact that we had to cancel a planned meeting with an apparently great couple we met on SDC. We had to bail on our date with them because Mrs. Said was sick. Bummer! During the meal we spent our time checking each other’s calendars for available dates, talking about the few hot prospects we have, laughing about our past deeds, etc. Then we finished dinner and I opened my fortune cookie and read: “The project you have in mind will soon gain momentum.” Bring it on!

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The old maxim goes like this: What’s the difference between involved and committed? At breakfast, the chicken is involved, but the pig is committed. In the days following our first great swinging experience, Mrs. Said and I have been a team on a mission: setting up dinners to meet prospective partners, responding to inquiries on the dating sites, talking about swing-friendly vacations…. But there have been brief periods where we talked about stuff in our vanilla lives, of course. We have a little in-law apartment in our house. For the past couple years we’ve had a college kid (“K”) living…

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