Rules – Gotta Have Them

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Communication with your partner is critical to swinging success. That is the resounding theme in almost every book, podcast, blog, carrier pigeon note, etc. we have taken in.

With good communication, you can establish rules of engagement in this oft-sticky morass that is the swing life. Knowing what is ‘on the table' before a play session can avoid those awkward “Honey, she wants me to put it in her wrongun, can I?” moments. Protecting my primary relationship is of utmost importance to me.

Our topic for today lies one notch below the rules: preferences. I've thought a lot about ours lately. As we are trolling the websites and parties, here are some preferences we keep in mind:

Profiles must have photos of the man and woman (except the couple we have our next date with)
No single guys (except for the guy that we met at a party whose wife confirmed he can play alone, which is good ‘cuz he really turns Mrs. Said's crank and he's willing to help her explore her MFM fantasy)
No more than two play sessions per couple to avoid emotional entanglement (except for the couple we now get together with regularly for vanilla weekends because our kids get along so well)
No fake breasts (except for that one smoking hot couple who recently contacted us)
Non-smokers (except for one of our first couples we ever played with – and will again)

See? It is good to have guidelines so your swinging experience will be nice and predictable.

I have learned one thing: We absolutely will not play with single guys who smoke and have fake breasts. I have my standards.

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He Said and She Said (not their given names) are 40-somethings married for 20-something years living in a large Southern US city. Spurred into action by their landscaper's tales of consensual non-monogamy, they have enjoyed swinging - and blogging about it - since 2010.

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