Swing… And a Miss


What a week! Mrs. Said and I are enjoying a quiet day, after staying out too late at a meet-and-greet. The last week or so has been pegging the fun-swing-o-meter. The week began with a couple days of text flirting with our favorite couple to the point of worrying if it was getting too serious. We have spent some fun vanilla times with them and are quite excited about our next horizontal opportunities.

Being new to this, I may be talking out my arse but it seems that there is a continuum with anonymous sex at a swing club on one end and cohabitating, coparenting, everyone-in-one-big-bed polyamory on the other. We definitely need some mental connection to make the physical work. Our favorite couple has us wondering just how much time we want to/can/should spend with another couple. Compared to our time spent in foreplay and sex, we have probably spent 20 times as much doing vanilla stuff together. We're going with the flow – the relationship seems to be developing nicely.

Our on-line farming yielded a bumper crop of inbound hits this week. What a huge confidence booster that is!! As the urban youths say, “Our sh*t been blowin' up, yo!” I say that in the I'm-surprised-you-really-think-we're-appealing voice. I hope it doesn't sound cocky; we were just pleasantly surprised when contacted by a couple of couples whose photos and profiles we had noticed before. I had dismissed them as out of our league. I am always more than a little surprised and gratified when folks contact us since we make clear in our profiles the fact that we need a connection in order to get to the hot monkey sex part of things.

The week came to a bittersweet close when we attended a party planning to meet one of those couples. After our first really satisfying bar meet-and-greet, our expectations were a little high for this one. I guess we are the same in person as we are on line: we sat back trying to exude just a little confidence, openness, and vivacity to entice someone to approach us. It worked and we met a solid guy who was there with his wife. Our conversation with him flowed fast and easy. The other folks he and his wife had been talking with? Not so much. I mean, there's nothing wrong with dumb bleach blonde twenty-somethings with fake boobs and an overinflated sense of self (if you are into that crap) but this chick was fucking fingernails-on-a-chalkboard annoying to me. And she stuck around like napalm. I am not sure how long our interesting new friend had been enduring her drivel, but by the time we talked to his wife, the poor gal was done. Over. Get me the hell out of here! Poor thing. She seemed nice, but there was just no spark there. Sad, because I could tell Mrs. Said would be down with getting down with him. Oh well, complicated swinger calculus strikes again.

About the time we extricated ourselves from that situation, the couple we planned to meet for the first time came in and found us. The conversation with them worked much better and again I could tell Mrs. Said was picking up what he was laying down. The problem again was the female of that couple, a pretty woman with long blonde hair. They came to the party having had a nice dinner elsewhere – with plenty of drinks. Plenty! Neither Mrs. Said nor I are big drinkers. I shudder at the thought of trying to navigate the myriad pitfalls of swinging while impaired. It's a damn shame she was so drunk because she was really cute! From what I could tell of her personality, I think we could all get along, but as tipsy turned to sloppy it was clear that it would take another meeting to see if there was anything there.

Add to that the fact that another couple we'd like to meet was free one night (we were busy with vanilla life) and busy the other (when we had a free night and no curfew), the week ended feeling like we were out of sync with the swing world.

Oh well. I still got to go home with the love of my life. Ain't that just the bee's knees?


He Said and She Said (not their given names) are 40-somethings married for 20-something years living in a large Southern US city. Spurred into action by their landscaper's tales of consensual non-monogamy, they have enjoyed swinging - and blogging about it - since 2010.

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