SS 19: Anal Sex & Double Penetration for the Non-Monogamous

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In Ep 19, we talk about anal sex and its place in non-monogamy, how it’s often tokenized for significant other play only, the wonders and joys of double penetration, pegging, and male bisexuality.

On this show: Cooper, Ginger, Dylan, Shira B.Katz, & Kendra Holliday (Formerly TBK)

Show notes:

Buy the Nexus Maximus, our favorite dual dildo!

Pick up a copy of Tristan Taormino’s wonderful Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Women (2nd Edition)

Check out Kendra Holliday’s website The Beautiful Kind

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About Author

Life on the Swingset

A podcast about swinging, polyamory, open relationships, and “the lifestyle” from the trenches. A diverse group tackles many issues involved with non-monogamy and what it means to be a swinger or polyamorous from the point of view of educating and illuminating what, for many, is a confusing journey to start on.

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8 Comments

  1. Maybe it's just me, but according the podcast it seems that whatever Cooper likes is what we should all like. There seems to be an unspoken understanding that the language should generally be as clean and professional as possible, but Coop dropped arbitrary F-bombs twice this podcast — to defend male anal play. I'm in (what I think is) Dylan's position. Anal isn't as great as it's cracked up to be. "Just keep trying and then you'll like it" is a weak argument which could go for any number of activities. Long story short, seems like it's being pushed to us, and if you don't like it, well then you're not sex-positive. Doesn't make sense to me. Nevertheless, good discussion as usual. Keep on keepin on.

    • dylan_swingset on

      Well…

      Cooper -does- come off as having a larger than life personality at times, he can occasionally dominate discussions so I can see how you'd say that.

      In all fairness to Cooper though, I don't think he's trying to say -everybody- should be an anal fan. I think it's obvious he enjoys anal play, and I know many other people do. To me, it seems like -because- so many other people enjoy it, it must be enjoyable, so I'd like to see if I can find it enjoyable.

      What I really need is to spend time with someone who really knows how to show someone a great anal time, and if after THAT I still don't enjoy anal play I'll admit that it's just not for me.

      So, "just keep trying and you'll like it" is a weak argument, but I never felt like Cooper was telling me that. 🙂

  2. Hey Guestastic!

    Thanks for the feedback. The Swingset crew does like to come across as professional despite the fact that we are just some swingy/poly types throwing our two cents into the universe to stir things up. We all have been known to drop an F-bomb to two. I think we use the language we are moved to use.

    I hear you about anal play…as I shared, it is something I had to warm up to and continue to open my mind to and find pleasure in. The cool thing is that for Cooper, it is something he enjoys and feels passionate about…that people open their minds and perhaps discover something REALLY hot for them. Not hot for you? Cool. Not hot for your partners? Cool. Do what is hot for you!

    Knowing Coop as I do, in all his passionate glory, his enthusiasm is truly for people to open their minds and experience pleasure with no judgment of themselves or others. Feel good? Go for it! Not your style? Then there you go, it's not your style. I'm also grateful to know what DOESN'T turn me on. That helps me communicate better with my lovers to help them please me that much more.

    Sex-positive is being positive about sex in all its iterations, not necessarily liking or wanting to do it all.

    Thanks for your contribution to the discussion! You rock, hottie!

  3. Not sure why we can't use the word fucking when talking about fucking. If someone feels passionate about something it is one of the strongest words in our language to add emphasis and so seems well placed to me on both those fronts. Also I think that the only criticism in Cooper's commentary was towards those that would reject trying male anal play out of hand and one has to admit that there is plenty of homophobia out there and I aplaud his frank discussion of the subject.

    • For the record, I'm not complaining about profanity in the least. What I was getting at is that *they* try to keep it clean, and in this podcast Coop said fuck twice when defending anal/DP. In other words, his language revealed how strongly Cooper feels that others have the "wrong" stance on the matter, which I found hypocritical. A little. Don't get me wrong, this is Internetz criticism, you know the deal. Much love to all.

  4. You guys get a big high five from me for discussing male anal play. Cooper and Dylan having differing views on it really kept the conversation interesting. I fall into the camp with Cooper. I think it is great. However, it isn't really something Anne is super comfortable with. So, it is almost always something I do alone or on rare occasions insert toy into myself and then we go about our sexy business. I hope someday it is something I can share with Anne and have her take a more active role in. I would totally love for her peg me. Someday… someday.

  5. Love the discussion here! I must mention that I'm grateful for the support for saying fuck, because I love it so much. Sometimes it is the only word that really conveys my sentiment; as in "Prof, that was fucking AMAZING!"

    Keep those thoughts, suggestions and criticisms coming! The food for thought is delicious and a solid intellectual debate is such hot foreplay. ~Gin

  6. Pingback: Kendra Holliday Podcast Interviews | The Beautiful Kind

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