Review: I Got A Robotic Blowjob from the Autoblow 2

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 I Got A Robotic Blowjob from the Autoblow2A while back I reviewed the Realtouch, a masturbation machine, and was rather astonished to find it to be a pretty damned good product. Sure it was oversized, connected by large cables, heavy, and noisy, but it got me right to orgasm rather quickly and impressively. A device like this has the potential to be the (Hitachi) Magic Wand Original for penis havers. (I realize that the argument can certainly be made that the aforementioned Magic Wand is indeed also for penis havers, but I’m just gonna pass that discussion by.)

A recurring theme in my reviews tends to be the fact that, well, there’s very little a company can do to improve upon the sex toys we were born with: Righty, and Mr Leftorium. And that uphill struggle is what causes every “new and different” male masturbation product to be called a revolution, when in my estimation there are very few revolutionaries out there.

The Autoblow 2  doesn’t call itself a revolution, which is sadly enough for me to take notice these days. The Autoblow 2 calls it like it is: The crowd-funded blowjob robot everyone is talking about. Lulu Darling pointed out this quote to me when I mentioned to her that I received this device. She added a question mark to it. I responded: “Well, we ARE talking about it.”

The reason I brought up the Realtouch above is because of its fatal flaw. I was able to overlook so much of its design and aesthetic issues for the simple fact that it worked like GANGBUSTERS. What I wasn’t able to overlook was its lack of a manual mode, keeping me tethered to my computer and watching a series of bad 90s porn videos that sync’d with it.

The Autoblow 2 was so appealing right off the bat by being smaller, less encumbered by wires, and most blessedly, not requiring the crappy porn or specific rhythms. And, seriously, who doesn’t want to give the Blowjob Robot a try?

Okay, so a bunch of people don’t. But I do.

The Autoblow 2 is also notable for its well put together website and marketing strategy. While sex toys get more expensive, their marketing tends to get more abstract and glamour shotty (I’m looking at you LELO) whereas the Autoblow 2 knows EXACTLY what it is, and leans into the inherent silliness and humor of, well, a blowjob robot.

I received the regular size unit (It comes in large, small, and just right. I mean, regular.) and an extra sleeve. Right off, I liked that unlike the Fleshlight and most toys of its ilk, it’s not a long sleeve open at both ends. Instead it has a similar top (a simulacrum mouth) and a long soft closed tube below. This allows it to be easily turned inside out to be cleaned THOROUGHLY instead of just running water through it.

The “robot” itself is bigger than a Fleshlight. A chamber that definitely looks frightening inside sans mouth-tube-sleeve. But then the T–800 also looked quite frightening when its oh so comforting skin was removed to reveal the horrors of its robot skeleton. Inside the chamber, some springs, some beads-cum-rollers. Lots of empty space. On the bottom, an inset dial for speed. Also, a VERY (and happily) long power cable.

So, ENOUGH about the aesthetics, Cooper, the article is called “I Got A Robotic Blowjob” so tell us about it!

It works as advertised. The sleeve is very cyberskinny, so if you don’t like that sort of thing you won’t like this. I happen to like it, and as I don’t share my masturbation toys with partners the lack of full sterilization doesn’t much matter.

It took me a while to find the proper angle, as the squeeze and motion inside is sort of uniform all the way around. A while of rotating the device and trying different angles was necessary before I got it to hit that perfect frenulum spot that gets me somewhere. Playing with the speed dial was fun because I got to dial things in to exactly the level of…well…yanking I was interested in.

The Realtouch had a conveyor belt/friction method of getting me off, and it worked really well. This constant pulling motion (from a “robot”) worked, but felt a little less certain in what it was doing.

This is brute force masturbation, make no bones about it. The head of my penis felt a little (ahem) manhandled by the end of it, too. But it worked, and fairly quickly once I found the angle.

Having used many male masturbation products that ultimately left me stopping and taking myself to the finish line by hand, the very act of getting me there before I get bored is an accomplishment.

I don’t want to downplay it, though, this is almost a hands free blowjob/handjob device. Which I suppose is sort of the holy grail for male masturbation devices. I say almost because it’s difficult to use without holding it. Though I guess you could do the whole trapping it under a pillow while you lie on top thing. I didn’t do that. But I have experience with such things. I’m NOT being defensive.

It does a lot well, and is user controllable and user adjustable. Its price point is on the higher end, but the website comes with a 20% off coupon, so that brings it down to a more reasonable $120ish. Without a doubt Mr. Leftorium (I prefer him to Righty) will always be more affordable. But in an age where one might be tempted to spend $300 on a torso. Well, they should consider this instead. Mainly because it doesn’t look creepy in your apartment.

But, and let me be clear on this. It’s not a robot. It’s a machine. You’re not masturbating with the Autoblow 2, you’re actually fucking a machine. And that’s pretty cool when you think about it. Asimov would be impressed.

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About Author

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About Cooper Cooper S. Beckett is the co-founder and host of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast since 2010, author of swinging & polyamory novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity, and memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory. He teaches and speaks on swinging, polyamory, pegging, play parties, and coloring outside the boundaries of your sexuality. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino’s radio show Sex Out Loud. He is currently working on two instructional non-fiction books, one about beginning non-monogamy, and another about pegging.

16 Comments

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    Thanks for the informative review, Cooper! I’m wondering if this would this be a pleasurable tease for a sub or is it primarily something to be used alone?

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    I was starting to regret my purchase. Then a eureka moment happened, I got my other toy the Sasha Grey deepthroat sucker and decided to merge them. I had to trim the sucker to make it fit in between the beads. But once I got the sucker to a good size and slipped it in it worked WONDERS. I lasted maybe 2-3 mins instead of forever. The sucker goes for about 10 dollars on amazon and is amazing for its price to begin with.

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    This autoblowjob2 was a waste of money. Tried it for the fist time and dick went soft. Needless to say its like all other Male sex toys. NOT WORTH THE MONEY SPENT!!!!

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      So I tried it in stock factory mode a few times and really was not impressed with the feel. So I got the idea to take the insert from my fleshlight vortex and trim it down to fit in thru the beads. fits perfectly in the locking collar. Oh wow, it’s like unbelievable great.

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    I recently bought the Autoblow 2 toy in “A size” as I only have a 3 ½ inch girth. It shipped when promised, looks sturdy but was sent in a box printed “B size” on it, with an “A size” sticker covering it. I emailed them about the box and they said no matter what size I got, it is printed on the box as they cannot print three different boxes and they just cover it with a sticker of the right size or what they think is the right size. The problem I have and the reason I am giving one star is because the size they sent me does not measure as an “A size” but measures as a “B size”. I measured the inside diameter with a cloth measuring tape and it measured at 5” girt. Which is a “B size” not an “A size” that I ordered. I emailed them again telling them they sent me the wrong size and they were sure they didn’t. How do they know what size they sent me? Are they saying they don’t make mistakes yea right. I have it with me and it does not measure to the right size. They also sent me card that says they are not satisfied unless you are satisfied, which is not true because I am NOT! Satisfied. I would NOT! Recommend this product if you are smaller than 7” long and smaller than 5” in girth. As either there sizes are not right or they just like to send you the larger sizes to get rid of them because not a lot of men are that big. They need to make the sizes for average Joes because not many men have a girth of 5” or even 4” or more.

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      So you’re saying the product sucks for people smaller than 7 inches +? I must be lucky then cause I’m 7 and half inches and still growing [: So would it be right for me?

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    I ordered the Autoblow 2 with my husband. We ordered an – A size. When we got it box it had a -A size sticker covering a printed -B size on it. We emailed them why they sent use the wrong size say stated that that’s is printed on all the boxes. So my husband thinking it was a scam measured the inside and it was not true they sent use the wrong size and they don’t care. Those who order this make sure you get the right size.

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      SSame thing happened to me. They sat they sent an “A” size sleeve, but I barely touch the sides of the sleeve when I am inside it. The rollers also don’t reach high enough to stimulate my penis head fully. I measure 5″ with a circumference of 4″. According to the website, an A sleeve should be perfect for me.

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    Autoblow2 worst service ever never got my product and sent customer service tracking information that the package was sent back to there warehouse because of bad tag and it’s been there for over a monto and they would t send it to me or give me my money back

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    Don’t waste your money on the AutoBlow 2 it blows alright, doesn’t work the stroker mechanism stops after 5 seconds and their customer service gives you some lame excuse about friction and a fuse. Piece of junk.. don’t waste your money.

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      Yeah, I have the same issue. It only goes for a few seconds and stop, I turn it off and turn on again, it goes another few seconds and stops. Does not even last a minute.

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    Total POS. Dont waste your money. No matter how big you are or the sleeve size. It sucks and not in a good way. I am 8″ long and 6″ girth, still barely felt anything. There is no way this ripoff machine could make anyone reach climax. And it stops working after a few min.

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    Not that bad. I expected more. I’m about 5 inch girth so I was supposed to be perfect for the middle size, but it just isn’t tight like a real BJ. Don’t get me wrong though, still felt great, just took longer than I expected. It’s a slow and steady orgasm. Once you get near the end, and about to climax, it’s pretty intense. I’d give it a rating just above a fleshlight.
    If a good blowjob was a 10/10. This is about a 6.

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