It’d been a while since I attended an event at a local swing club; sexy travel, family obligations, local partners and sports ate up my free time. With 2019 being new, I decided to to get back in the club scene. I’d wanted to attend a Young Couples Party event for a couple years so I cleared our calendar, booked our tickets, and got ready to attend an event not just as a comeback… but as a first timer.
I left the YCP event wondering how I’d missed out on such a smooth and sexy experience for so long.
While booking tickets to a club I expect to hop onto a website, quickly skim an About and FAQ section, read through a token attempt the hosts of a group have made to address consent, fill in a credit card and maybe make a brief phone call. I found that browsing YCP’s website was different. It offered a PDF on consensual nonmonogamy up front and the FAQ did a great job of setting expectations.
YCP hit me up front and loudly with a six part “Must Knows” section that is as much required reading as looking for dates and buying a ticket. YCP parties are non-refundable however tickets for attending Chicago events can transfer to the next event. I love the thought of buying into an event knowing that, should life happen, I’ll get another chance to attend. Tticket prices are on a tiered, first-come first-served basis. While YCP offered me a gratis ticket for the February Valentines event, attendees that book early get exceptionally good couples’ prices. Single women attending get half off the couples’ price.
A couple weeks before the event I received a follow-up email with a ticket and a link to directions, on-premise bracelet codes (red = full swap, blue = soft swap, yellow = other), and a video explaining how Speed Dating works.
The First Timer experience
After some discussion, Tonia and I decided to attend as a threesome (I won’t call it a thruple) with another partner of mine. We arrived and immediately met one of the many YCP group hosts for a guided tour of the venue. Tonia and I had attended previous events at this venue so we didn’t think there was going to be much additional to see however the tour made the venue feel pretty unique.
We ended up engaging in a ten minute rolling conversation about approaching people, personal space, negotiating play, and affirmative consent. I’d never had an event take the care and time to move through a serious discussion about affirmative consent and it made all three of us much more comfortable with the group, knowing that if they held the conversation with us, they held the conversation with everyone. YCP set meaningful and serious expectations for behavior between people and couples. Our host pointed out the other hosts and made it clear that we could approach any host at any time for anything. After all that, we started walking through the club in earnest.
The club space (in the winter) has three stories divided into six areas.
The entrance area doubles as a hallway with multiple private playrooms. This works as the club closes the doors at 10:30PM. The playrooms here are fairly small, some with wall-to-wall mattresses, but they felt more intimate than cramped.
The foyer and kitchen area double as the speed dating space and as a common space; it’s not setup for play but I found it a comfortable place for flirting and for pizza eating!
Outside the kitchen area is a balcony overlooking a perma-tented pool and a hot tub area, and is adjacent to a lounge specifically set aside for smoking. While the smoking lounge always had people in it I never smelled smoke outside its immediate vicinity. It kept the smokers happy and kept everyone else in the area happy.
The upstairs area houses several different play areas. To the left exists an orgy room with three or four beds next to each other had room for twenty comfortably piled up people. A private room next to it was a little more private and was the smallest play space in the venue, having a full sized bed wall-to-wall. I’d feel comfortable playing here as a couple or as a threesome. A more common play area had a free-standing sex swing, a bunk bed with two beds, and a larger play area past it with multiple beds. A bathroom, along with towels and mouthwash was well placed.
The basement area housed a common space with couches, standing height tables and chairs, and a dance floor which occasionally staffed both a dj and an mc. The basement also housed two areas for people to store their liquor. The club supplies the mixers, cups, and ice, we just brought the booze!
This opens to a pool large enough to easily fit 50 people and a hot tub large enough for eight cozy people. As it was 0°F outside, the club had a propane fueled heat cannon blasting the tent area which created a really neat fog surrounding the pool area.
The three of us attended early so it took some time for people to trickle in, but as they did I noticed that the crowd showing up was impressively diverse. I’m used to attending clubs attended by mostly white couples, and while I’ve always had a good time, it felt good to see a mix of black and latinx couples show up. I felt like I could let my filters go a little which added to my general feeling of being in a comfortable space.
YCP’s speed dating is the closest I’ve seen any group come to the experience that we put together during our yearly Life on the Swingset Takes Desire events. We stood on a number and color and floor assigned to us in the registration area and we slowly went around in a circle talking to different couples for a few minutes at a time. We fielded a lot of questions about us being a threesome, about us being swingers and polyamorous, and about how we play, in addition to some of the standard questions like “where are you from?” and “is this your first time”? It had a really nice cadence to it and I was left wanting more of a few of the couples in the best possible way.
After speed dating, we went to the basement, made ourselves some drinks, and quickly stripped and got into the hot tub. Based on our conversations in speed dating I thought it’d be a mad rush to the hot tub and pool area, so while a couple joined us, it was clear we’d misread the room a little bit. We got dressed and headed back into the first floor and started chatting people up. People were very friendly and a little flirty but I got the impression that most people hadn’t encountered a threesome at the club before. There were a few single women and a couple of other obvious threesomes, but the two other threesomes at the club seemed to mostly keep to themselves. I’d never attended a club as a threesome and I’m not sure that I’d be terribly successful at engaging in conversation as a threesome in other spaces, so I chalk this up to being a little optimistic and not really thinking through the dynamic of a couple chatting up a threesome. Lesson. Learned.
We hit the pool up again, chatted with a few more couples, and ended up in the hot tub again with six other people. After a bit we’d decided we were a bit charged and ready to play. We revisited the first floor and entered a room with a bed and my favorite accoutrement… a massage table. We laidTonia on the table, rubbed massage oil on our hands, and started with her neck and her back. While I migrated down to Tonia’s butt, a two women and a man entered the room and took possession of the bed and slowly started figuring out how to play with each other. We smiled at each other, they smiled at us, and we all continued.
We flipped Tonia over and started on her chest and legs while the non-coupled woman brought out a vibrator and used it on the other woman while the gentlemen sat back and patiently enjoyed the two women playing. My partner migrated down to Tonia’s labia while I slid over to enjoy the Best Damn Nipples in the World™. We worked Tonia up to the edge of an orgasm while the three in front of us switched to one of the women laying down, the non-partnered woman bent over eating her out, and the gentlemen thrusting into her. My partner and I were practically drooling at this point, both over Tonia and the scene in front of us. The threesome in front of us came one after another and we brought Tonia to an orgasm soon after. We all cleaned up at about the same time, and I connected with the gentlemen after. I liked the way he worked, he had a quiet and patient confidence to him that I aspire to and that I find pretty rare in men, plus the scene was hot. He complimented us and mentioned that the three of them were jiving on our energy. High fives and ass slaps all around!
The staff at the event were great and they lived up to their claim of being available at all times. I and another woman ended up talking to the staff about a dude being a jerk to his partner. They listened, paid attention, and took action when it was necessary. These things happen on occasion and I felt it was dealt with effectively and without further incident. De-escalation is an art and they practiced it well.
We three had a great time at with YCP..The upfront expectation setting and conversation surrounding consent really allowed us to get comfortable with the space and the crowd quickly. For an outing of first timers with a new crew we felt the hosts and the attendees were inviting and friendly.
I highly recommend heading to YCP events. Head over to YoungCouplesParty.com if you’re in Chicago or Des Moines. I’m sure I’ll be there again!
Note: Dylan Thomas received a gratis pass to this event.