Browsing: polyamory

Through our Craigslist ad, we were approached by a couple significantly younger than us. By significantly, I mean almost 20 years younger. We are almost forty. This couple was just finishing up college.

Initially, I planned to just give girls a try. It isn’t that I’ve never thought of women sexually before, I just hadn’t given it much thought. I’ve always thought girls were pretty and the female body was attractive. So, I thought, let’s see what happens.When we filled out our on-line profile I labeled myself “bi-curious”.

Plenty of swingers like a little slap and tickle. If you’ve ever had a playmate begging to be treated like a slut in the heat of the moment, you’re already one of us. You’ve engaged in what we call “humiliation play.” If you’ve ever enjoyed a slap to the ass while getting fucked, you’ve engaged in pain play. We communicate about this stuff with a depth of understanding which causes us to need a big vocabulary that can seem very intimidating from the outside.

As educated, upwardly mobile, physically fit African-Americans, we’d both dealt with racial insensitivity throughout our lives. As the Lifestyle is generally just a microcosm of society in general, we weren’t necessarily surprised when those same types of experiences carried over to our Lifestyle lives as well.

We live in a digital world filled with handy, on-the-go devices such as personal computers, smart phones and iPads. Because of these devices social media has exploded and given people all over the world an opportunity to meet people they may never have met by conventional means and to explore areas of their lives in the safety of anonymity that they could never explore under the close scrunity of the people they know in the real world.

Polyamorous relationships are notorious for not making it past the three year mark.. and many polyamorous relationships fall much shorter than even that. For a long time, that knowledge was a source of frustration for me. Yet another reason why polyamory is a less ‘valid’ relationship style, right? However, maybe it’s not a bug in the system. Maybe it’s a feature.

So, yes, I shut down the site, rather entirely, for almost three weeks. Newer readers probably didn’t notice because the site was cycling through some of our old content, but there was certainly no NEW content being posted. It’s not that I was out of content, mind you, it’s that I was out of enthusiasm. You see, when I began Swingset it was intended to function not only as an educational resource for swingers, but a home to my personal swinging blog. A way I could write about the experiences and questions I’m having; a way I could get these thoughts out into the world. It WAS that for a time as well.