Author: Holly Clark

When it comes to sex, I’m what I like to call a gentle touch. I’m easily overloaded by pressure, speed, or vibration, and cannot handle the rock star pounding that I so enjoy watching others receive. Don’t misunderstand, I certainly can’t complain about my sex life. I’ve learned to communicate my needs to my spouse and my playmates, and when they listen, they are serenaded by my raucous screams and entertained by my involuntary flailing and gasping. But even with a good partner, sometimes my body just becomes too finicky, and an orgasm just isn’t in the cards. This can…

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Tyler and I first saw the Liberator Shapes (a collection of foam bedroom “furniture”) at a local adult toy store. Since we had our anniversary coming up, we decided to splurge a little and get something fun for the both of us – and boy am I glad we did!

At the store, the sales person showed us the Ramp, Wedge, and whirl (which is like a bolster). All of the Shapes are made from a heavy-duty foam and are covered with a non-slip cover that is machine washable. Because of the foam construction, all of the Shapes are very light for their size.

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Not unlike a lot of people I grew up with, my dating life ended when I was 20. I monogamously dated a man I met while in college, finished my degree, and got married. I don’t know if it was our age or our individual temperaments, but early on he established that he was jealous and controlling, and I, for whatever reason, accepted it. Unfortunately, since I’d confided my bisexuality, he was equally jealous of both the women and the men in my life. The end result of this jealousy was a cycle of un-sexiness. My relationship was easier to…

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As I think about the person that I’ve been, the person that I am, and the person that I am continuing to evolve into, I realize I owe a lot to swinging. I’m fitter, happier, more well-rounded in my interests and companions, and I own a lot more lingerie. Most importantly, however, I have a lot more confidence. First, I’m much more confident when talking to other people. Before swinging, I rarely had to talk to strangers. Occasionally I’d chat with someone in the grocery store, or perhaps make small talk with a co-worker from another part of my company,…

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When it comes to Swinging, some people jump right in, blindly and boldly, or perhaps while holding some more experienced Swingers hand. Others look around at the available sites, books, or groups a few weeks or months and then decide to go for it. Some people take measured steps moving steady towards Swinging. And then there are others who move forward in small increments testing their comfort levels gingerly as they go. No one way is better than others as long as it works for the couple.

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Even though our first experience at a swing club was less than stellar, a little while after we’d established ourselves with a group of swinger friends, a new club opened up 90 minutes or so away from us. Since we had actually met the owner on a few occasions, we thought it would be worth giving swing clubs another try. So we asked around and arranged to meet a group of friends there one Saturday night. Getting to the club was the first adventure. The club was so secret that there was no address given. We got off the highway…

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OK, I’ll admit it…I have a problem saying “no”. Now before you get too excited, I’m not talking about saying yes to everything (not that there’s anything wrong with that). What I’m talking about is saying no to unwanted advances (typically at a club or party) in a way that makes me feel good about myself instead of feeling mean, stuck-up, or prudish. If someone were to ask me how to say no, my advice to them would be “All you have to say is no, no thank you, I’m not ready, not right now, just girls, just guys, or…

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Months after our first misadventure into a Swing club in Las Vegas, after the disappointment had worn off, Tyler and I were talking about things again and decided that Hedonism might just be the vacation for us. It was distant (which was still on my priority list at the time), but it had two sides to it – nude and “prude”. The idea that I could retreat to the clothed side for a more traditional vacation was just the safety net I needed. We went for a week and had a fabulous time. It turns out we really really enjoy…

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I’ve liked girls as far back as I can remember. My first crush was on a girl, and actually, so were the next three or four. But, aside from a few high school flings, I never really got all that serious with it. By the time I started college, I had a college boyfriend and that was how things continued. Years later I met and fell in love with Tyler. I told him everything about me, including the women I’d dated. It was then that I remembered how much I’d enjoyed being with women, and how much I missed it.…

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photo by by Glenn Harper Another common frustration I hear from swingers (both new and experienced)  is the feeling that everyone is in a clique. I hear this complaint about meet-and-greets, clubs, parties, and even websites. Cliques are often a perception rather than a reality. I remember the first time Tyler and I went to a particular meet-and-greet. It was at a trendy dance club filled with couches, lounge chairs, and a few curtained-off booths. After making a lap or two, we were very happy to find a set of four comfy chairs. What luck, we thought, we’ll get to meet whichever…

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