Author: Blue

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mad culinary scientist. curious voyeur. aimless wanderer. geek, nerd, procrastinator. panromantic polyamorous pagan. bdsm switch. refuses to adhere to any of your silly preconceptions.

I have been a Swingset-er for a long time, yet have barely any entries published here. That should change. That WILL change! Hello, non-monogs, curious vanillas, kinky bastards, fetishists, queers, and anyone else out there who might happen to be reading. My name is Blue and it’s been a ridiculous long time since I’ve written to you, and for that, I apologize. I’m just too damn happy. My poly life is happy now, and that left me with nothing to write about. <–dirty lies I should try harder to find things to write about. And I will. It’s on my…

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I’m selfish. No, really, I am. But I use that to my advantage. It’s better now that I can admit it and I can tell people about it and I know what to ask and when it’s too much. I know it’s different and weird and too much to ask that someone who’s monogamous accept and love me even though I’m not monogamous and I know I could never (happily) be monogamous. So, I don’t tell her to stay with me. She doesn’t have to put up with me. I mean, she didn’t have to agree to go out with…

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Read Part I here I came out as a lesbian and polyamorous to my family (and the general world) around the same time. I kind of cheated—I deleted my Facebook account and made a new one. At first, I sent out friend requests only to people who already knew or people who I felt were ready for the news. My profile picture was this: My “interested in” said “women.” My “relationship status” said “in an open relationship.” I was able to list my partners under my “family,” due to a recent update, which was nice but I’m still waiting to…

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I am definitely a lesbian. I have definitely been a lesbian my whole life, but I didn’t know it until quite recently. I officially “came out” to myself in the beginning of 2012, after the last few months of 2011 left me in a state of depression I hadn’t seen the likes of in over a decade. I was distancing myself from my girlfriend Gabriel. I was floundering to save my marriage, which I feared was unsalvageable. I spent months internalizing, trying to figure out what, exactly, was wrong with me. Why wasn’t I having sex with my husband? More…

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In October, we were forced to leave our apartment and seek a different housing situation. This was a huge disruption to our life as it was (we expected to have until December, the natural ‘end’ of our lease) but fortunately, we were already looking for a new place to live… a place that would be big enough for Ark and I, plus Dawn. I’ve spoken before of wanting to live in a poly household—and now, basically, that is what we have. I can float between bedrooms (I don’t have my own room at this point). We share the expenses and…

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Heya, non-monogs! How’s it swingin’? Is everybody’s life awesome and full of love? I’ve been a busy kitten. For a little while there, yeah, even too busy to blog–too busy to sit down and slather my thoughts and feelings all across the computer screen for all to see. But I’m better now! I hope. A lot of things have changed since I last wrote for this website, so I want to catch y’all up a bit before I jump on in with all the things. This entry on my blog touches on everything pretty nicely, but I’ll give you the…

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Polyamory, like every alternative lifestyle, includes the “coming out” step. What would we call it? The walk-in closet (cause there’s room for more than two)? All jokes aside, coming out can be difficult and, understandably, a lot of people choose not to do it. Or, if they do come out, it’s only to a few select people. I’m not worried about losing my job due to religious or sexual practices, so I don’t particularly care who at my workplace is aware of my unique circumstances. My family is slightly different; I know some of them suspect, but at this point…

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The short version is that Ark broke a rule. It was an important rule that was there for everyone’s safety and my sanity, but in the heat of the moment, he broke the rule. I felt betrayed, broken—and I was pissed off. I took the time to cool off and think about it and rationalize it, and I’ve done the best I could about it. I

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