When I first started engaging in non-monogamy, I was living in a big American city with a large, liberal social network. It wasn’t that hard to find like-minded people. We moved from the US to Europe over a year ago and we’ve been celibate ever since.
Not with each other, mind you. But with anyone else.
The situation has been rather frustrating. Having a date, with someone else, gave us time to be apart. I looked forward to him spending an evening away, since I’d spend it in bed, watching bad television and cooking whatever I wanted for dinner.
When you share a life with someone, you fall into a routine. Exposure to new people breaks that routine and gives you the chance to experience the world in a different way. At the suggestion of another, you might try a new restaurant or catch a movie you might not have otherwise.
And, frankly, I miss having a variety in sex partners. Part of the reason we got into non-monogamy in the first place was our mutual desire for variety. Neither of us wanted to be each other’s “last.”
I hope that as we establish ourselves here, opportunities will develop for both of us. We will, eventually, meet like-minded people and reestablish what we left behind. Until then… roleplay?