The Awkward Moment – Erectile Dysfunction Issues In Swinging


The Awkward Moment - Erectile Dysfunction Issues In SwingingI am so glad I’m not the male part of the swinging relationship. So much worry about the plumbing – getting hard, staying hard, holding back, and then trying to finish when it’s finally time. Viagra and Cialis and such little pills have done wonders but not conquered the problem entirely.

Twice so far since our conversion to full swap, I’ve found myself playing with a guy who, well, just can’t get it up. The erect penis (or lack thereof) is a much bigger issue now that we have shifted to full swap activities. In soft swap, there’s enough exchanging of positions and people that it’s not quite as noticeable and not such an issue. I can suck a limp cock as much as a hard one. Fucking? Not so much.

The first time I faced the limp-biscuit situation, the guy just clearly was never going to get there. He was an older man and enjoying seeing his young girlfriend fucking her brains out with Mr. Doubleplay. I almost felt like I should have been given a warning on that one, because he honestly didn’t seem surprised by his dilemma. That one left me feeling like I took one for the team a bit.

This most recent time, the poor guy was clearly embarrassed. And I must say he made up for his difficulties with me by going down on me so expertly that I squirted and had multiple orgasms. I was happy. But I could tell he was doing all he could to get himself hard.

Mr. Doubleplay, meanwhile, was having a crazy time on the sex swing with the lady half of the partner. It was hot to hear their moans, which joined in with my own moaning from the artful tongue of the struggling man. While Mr. D. was having a blast, he felt a bit guilty. Should he offer that he had some Viagra to share? Should I have offered? Should he ask the lady if they should continue or stop given the other guy’s struggles? Would swapping back to original partners help? We just wanted to be helpful at that point and make sure the guy was having a fun time.

The erection thing also is causing us to rethink our same room boundaries. On another occasion on a very hot evening with two amazing couples, I was about to have sex with a burly, sexy Canadian. But he said he needed to go into the other room to get hard. There were too many people in there and it was distracting. We had a strict same room rule at that point so I was reluctant to do so. I am regretting that choice as in hindsight Mr. D and I realized it would have been a reasonable option given the adjoining doors. It may not be our preference to be in separate rooms but sometimes maybe that’s what a guy needs?

I am wondering if there is an etiquette to this ongoing dilemma for the fellas out there. Any thoughts?


Mrs. Doubleplay is 40-something mom living in the middle of America with kids, a career, and pretty house in the suburbs. She’s active in her local church, coaches the kids’ soccer games, and happens to have a secret life as a swinger. Married to her high school sweetheart, Mr. Doubleplay, the couple dipped their toes in the lifestyle for a couple of years but then dropped off the radar to have kids. They rejoined the lifestyle in 2005 and haven’t looked back. They have been soft swap from the start but are working their way toward greater forms of adventure as we meet hot couples on lifestyle vacations, swinger clubs, and online websites.

1 Comment

  1. I’m 32 and last year, my doctor ran some blood tests to find out why I didn’t seem to have the stamina that I used to. Turns out, I had half the testosterone that a 70 year old should have. They started me on a simple gel that I put on my shoulders once a day and I’m back to feeling like I’m 20 and hanging from the ceiling. I am going to be posting my story on this to the forums/blog because I think it needs to get talked about more. ED isn’t reserved for people over 40 & 50.

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