How to Swingle: The 1st Page of Ginger’s Swinger Mingling Playbook


How to Swingle: The 1st Page of Ginger's Swinger Mingling PlaybookMingling is challenging for even the most adept swingers. Given that Prof and I are in the middle of a long vanilla stretch, I’m finding that in absence of real social situations I’m daydreaming about what I would say to that spectacularly hot inked up woman or tall, dark and handsome bespectacled gentleman across the way.

While in no way do I ever use lines, I do consider how I will start the conversation before I cross the room to engage a hottie. Risking all of you I may meet in person someday thinking I’m a totally premeditating predator, the following are some ways I enjoy getting the flirting and intellectual foreplay started. A bit of my playbook, so to speak…I hope you get some mileage out of it. And, if I ever use these on you, well, consider yourself sexy prey.

  • Ask what the hottie is drinking. I find that this way of starting a conversation is a great neutral way to get rolling while also gather information for what I may be interested in drinking later in the night or in the vacation. You can riff off of that by asking drink preferences. “Do you like sweet or savory best?”  “What is your all-time favorite drink?” “What do you think is the sexiest drink?” Or maybe even “what drink would you prefer that I pour all over you and lick off?” Hey, might be worth a shot when the mood is right.
  • Go with a sincere compliment. Who doesn’t like to hear that they caught someone’s eye because of their gorgeous eyes or strong shoulders? The key here is sincere. Manufacturing compliments is for amateurs. For those who are truly looking to connect with another hottie, being vulnerable first by tipping your hand and sharing how hot you think someone is is classy and a tad risky. You may be rebuffed, but that person walks away feeling boosted by your honesty. If you can walk away from that interaction knowing that you were sincere and that there are plenty other of hotties in the world, everybody wins. If you found yourself a match, well, watch how quickly the connection escalates to hottest because you were willing to take a risk.
  • Ask “What do you do for fun?” The key here is the for fun part. Some people in the Lifestyle are not particularly interested in discussing their jobs, whether to maintain some anonymity or simply because they wish to unplug during the fun. Besides, isn't it more interesting to learn what hotties do for fun? It is the perfect entrée into a conversation about what gets their erotic juices flowing (pun quasi-intended).
  • If there is ever a time for it, now is the time to ask “Come here often?” Okay, maybe you want to rephrase the question, but it really is a relevant question to ask. It can be the perfect segue to learning about how long the hottie has been a part of the community and how they prefer to play. Assuming you are hitting it off and heading in that direction whether later that night or six months from then, it is useful and sexy conversation.
  • Invite the hottie to the dance floor. If dancing is part of your repertoire, doing some touching and sweating together seems to evoke some other activity during which you might do some touching and sweating. You have likely heard that how a hottie dances is an excellent tip-off to how well they…ummm tango. Interestingly, I have found that seems to ring true…and good dancers are usually skilled kissers to boot.

So there you go, Swingsetters, you have seen the first few pages of my playbook. Get out there! Work hard! Let’s see some effort! Go team Swingset! (I can’t resist!) Time to score!


As an oversexed, omnisexual castaway from the sexually-repressed culture, Ginger believes the next sexual revolution of total sex-positivity is just around the corner and it’s time for the revolutionaries to unite! Be her friend on Facebook - Follow her on Twitter


  1. Good game plan
    … we can only hope to get stalked as your prey at some time.
    Since we are in swinger environments so very often, be it a house party, hotel takeover, lifestyle club, swinger event, or resort we like to mix business with pleasure. That means facing the fact of approaching couples, or culling one target from the herd. When you are meeting hundreds of people, trite opening lines are not an option.
    All of Ginger’s points work very well, and this playbook will definitely get you in the game. We can’t emphasize enough the point of making your compliments sincere. If you are attracted there are obviously some qualities you find sexy, unique or arousing about them. But look for something they may not have heard before. Especially if it will spark a discussion.
    In our types of environments the “Come here often?” approach is very acceptable. Try and put a unique spin on it. If the target of your interest looks very confident in the situation, use it. “You look very comfortable here, do you know if…” … it’s OK to get frisky out here; … people usually get naked out here first; … it’s OK to tip the server; … it’s always like this.
    And YES, learn just some basic dance steps that get you close to your quarry. Learn to dance while touching, a little spin into a brief hold works great.
    Now go get in the game.
    Jim & Char

  2. Jim and Char!

    Thanks for weighing in! Glad it all rings true for you. Certainly The Swingset Takes Desire sexcation will be the perfect opportunity to use the playbook (and do a little stalking of prey…)! So excited you are making it such a rocking trip for all the Swingsetters!


  3. Great suggestions to get that hottie to play (and fuck)  with you. It also helps if you are in a friendly social situation like a party with the hottie  where you can pay attention to her with the intention of seducing her into bed with you. Our personal experrience with two of the hotties acquainted with the wife. One hottie (Lynn)  who is divorced, after chatting with her and asking the “right” questions she asked hubby if he was “safe” and that she was a lot of fun (in bed). We invited her for a threesome, hubby fucked her for some of the greatest and hottest sex.

    Another hottie is a married woman (Donna) and is (was) a vanilla lady. Also met her and her vanilla hubby at a social event. Hubby’s intention was to get her into bed and fuck her. With the right questions and conversation we were able to make friends, and, eventually talk the couple into joining us on sex(va)cation at one of the swinger resorts. This hottie had never been nude outside of her bathroom much less in a public pool. With all four of us nude in the pool, hubby played with Donna. We then full swapped mates and fucked the other’s partner for great sex.


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