~Percy Bysshe Shelley, Prometheus Unbound
Oh, kissing! Kissing is truly souls entangled. I so love to kiss…make out, really. I don’t consider it a quick stop on the foreplay route. For me it is a destination in and of itself. Often we get so distracted by the carnal delights that yet await us, we forget to delight in the kissing itself.
This past weekend partying with the Swingset crew, I was in utter paradise. Seriously! Every single sexy hottie I had the good fortune to kiss was an extraordinarily gifted kisser! I share this, not to brag or to call attention to the fact that the Swingsetters are so crazy hot to me, but to explain that I was moved to write this because kissing so many good kissers all at once was a notable experience for me. I realized and appreciated yet again how vital kissing is to my passionate enjoyment of play friends.
Kissing to me is both a fingerprint and a forecast. (Yes, you read that correctly.) And let me tell you why.
Everyone’s kissing is unique like a fingerprint. That style is uniquely yours. When you really dive into the experience of kissing someone, I mean really making out, not the perfunctory “let’s kiss for a minute and then get to the good stuff” kissing, you get to know them quite well. You get to experience all the different ways they kiss: hard, soft, playful, driven, creative. During extended make out sessions, you are exposed to all your partner’s skills, tricks and styles. And the feedback loop is immediate; I love that. At first the kissing might be urgent and driven especially after a separation or if you are kissing a lover for the first time. Then it might become slow and deep and indulgent…then perhaps playful with quick tongue flicks or teasing nibbles…then you might feel moved to draw your partner in deeper with your hands on the back of their neck and head with your fingers in their hair.
Oh my, where was I?
The tangle of lips and tongue…hands on your neck and face and hips…it is all so unique to the individual and the couple who’s kissing. That particular kissing scenario can never be recreated. It is a one of a kind work of performance art that you share and that you cannot share with anyone else. Intense, huh? I think so.
Kissing is also a forecast, a harbinger of confidence, patience and creativity. A relaxed, confident kisser is a relaxed and confident lover. I’ve often heard that you can tell what kind of lover someone may be by watching them dance. For my money, I go with assessing what kind of kisser they are. It has never led me astray.
Now if you find yourself in the “perhaps I should improve my kissing technique” camp after reading this. Don’t despair! Find yourself a trusted kissing partner, ask for honest feedback and adjust accordingly. Experiment and then ask what they thought. Most importantly, be a perpetual student of kissing. When you encounter a novel or particularly hot technique, work it into your rotation! Yummy!
My most profound lesson from all the kissing I love to do is to be totally mindful and present while kissing. Take it all in. Smell it. Taste it. See it. Hear it. Feel it. Enjoy it.