The swinging lifestyle is intriguing, exciting and a little intimidating. While swingers are, by their nature, a friendly and welcoming bunch, the experience can still be a little nerve-wracking for first time couples who want to begin experimenting with the swinging lifestyle. That’s why we’ve pulled together 5 pieces of advice to help newcomers feel more at ease and able to enjoy their introduction to this healthy, happy and exciting approach to sexuality.
- Know Your Own Limits
Every person and every couple has their own set of ground rules when it comes to swinging. For some couples, the only rule they have is about being open and honest about their sex play while others set boundaries on the types of sex they are willing to have or how intimate they are willing to become with swinging partners. It’s doesn’t matter where you fall on this spectrum, as long as you’re up front and honest about it with yourself and your partners.
You may find these ground rules evolve, change or even disappear over time and you become more comfortable in the scene or with certain couples. Change is fine when it comes to these boundaries but knowing what they are and making them clear to all players will help to ensure you and your partner are always comfortable. By the same token, make sure you’re aware of any ground rules or boundaries for other couples.
- Get to Know Other Couples Out of the Bedroom
First time couples often find they want to make a connection with another couple that doesn’t rely entirely on sex. Talking and flirting with another couple – or couples – is the best way to test the waters and find a couple with whom you can get along in and out of bed. Sex play is plenty of fun, but you want to avoid problems once the afterglow has faded and choosing couples with whom you share various interests can create an amazing new and multi-dimensional friendship.
- If It Comes Up, Be Honest About Your Experience (or Lack Thereof)
Two couples who both have had little or no experience may find they aren’t a good match for sex play since there’s no one to lead, so to speak. On the other hand, some inexperienced couples prefer playing with another couple new to the game. Sexual and swinging experience often comes up as couples meet up and get to know one another, so don’t hide your inexperience. This will not only help you to be more comfortable in terms of discussing sex, it opens the door for couples with more experience to offer their own bits of advice and insight which can help make your introduction to the swinging life easier.
- Stick Together, Play Together and Talk Together
The first few times you go to a party, it’s normal to feel nervous or unsure. Sex is, after all, one of the biggest forms of intimacy people share and opening up to other partners can take some getting used to, even when it’s a part of your biggest fantasy. Make sure you stick together when mingling at parties and when you find a couple you want to play with, ask if you can watch for a while first before joining in. Most couples are fine with that, especially with new swingers. Once you’re nice and turned on by watching, start some parallel play with each other and let things evolve naturally. Never force yourself to do something you’re uncomfortable with and know that you – and your partner – can call a Time Out anytime you want. It’s a good idea to have a signal you can give to your partner to let them know you need a minute to talk or you need to stop playing immediately. If you see your partner give the signal, don’t think twice about excusing yourself. After you’re done, make time to talk about the experience and review everything you liked about it as well as anything that made you uncomfortable. This can help you find a balance you like and strengthen the emotional bond you have with your partner.
- Don’t Leave the Passion at the Party
Experimenting with the swinging life is a great way for couples to add some spice to their relationship, but that excitement and sense of adventure shouldn’t be confined to swinging parties. Introducing role play, toys and other playful elements to your sex life at home ensures that you won’t become dependent on the involvement of others to keep those fires burning bright. It will also strengthen the connection you have with your partner and ensures that the fun you have with others is just a part of the excitement and passion you share.
Swinging is a lot of fun and is enjoyed by people from all walks of life, so don’t let First Timer nerves keep you from exploring and having fun. Instead, take your time, be open and honest with all your partners and keep the lines of communication open. That’s the biggest key to making sure that swinging stays fun and that you and your partner remain happy, comfortable and – of course – ready for more.
5 Comments
I wonder if someome could shed some light on this. While I ve always been intrigued by swinging, the biggest issue and fear holding me back has always been this. As an average, nice looking, but far from what people would refer to as “hot” male with run of the mill average 6″ endowment. At a club, event or party, what if my girlfriend is far more popular and engaged with others then me? What if I’m left alone while she is fielding countless offers? My girlfriend is an average, nice looking, but far from “hot” as well. However, as most men will hit on and engage just about anyone with a vagina, and women are far, far more picky, how do people deal with the possibility of one partner being lelft out of the fun?
She will probably be more popular because she has a vagina and at a straight swinger party there is more demand for FMF threesomes than there is for a swap. So you will have to be fine with that. If you develop a group of friends, it will even out. However, new women are exciting and new men might be a problem.
how to make a girl squirt? Well! It can be challenging for both men and women. While women have their own inhibitions about the act, men often lack the right techniques to accomplish it. Still, they have most probably read about it, watched it on those erotic videos or heard about it from their friends.
What do with the the being some times left out. It happens, it has happened with us several times, my wife isn’t the cheer leader or most beautiful, and sometimes, I got left out, but she made up for it latter. At several parties, at party houses there was several guys after my wife, leaving me out, or out at the time. It worked out later, that I wound up with someone, or back with my wife hornier than hell and she took care of me sometimes in front of the others, to make up for it or she took care of me later at home or next day. Or on the way home.
One time we went to a small time swingers party house and not too much going on, but a they had a nice spare bedroom and decided my wife was looking very delectable. And we took the spare bedroom and left the door cracked and i was taking my wifes clothes off when another couple, a newbee couple asked if they could watch, my wife says sure, she had a cute bf or husband if they would remove their clothes too. So we kept removing our clothes and my wife was oogling him, since he was young and handsome and I was unbuttoning some of his wifes clothes. I finally got many of her buttons unbuttoned and bra unsnapped and my wifes bra unsnapped so both bra were just hanging by the wifes nipples and them holding them to keep covered a bit. I finally started on the skirted and button and zipper and pulled the skirts down showing their nice undies, nice lacy undies, remember wear nice undies to swinger parties! Oh geez! My wife was helping him unzip and pulling off his shirt and undershirt and unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down, he had a hardon, I had a hardon! Oh Geez. I was kissing his wife on the cheek, and playing with her boobs too and nipples and he was playing and kissing my wife.
Everyone was learing at each other and their assests, all of us naked.
My wife laid back and started playing with herself and I was fingering with his wife, and she was moaning and my wife. It wasn’t before long his wife and my wife laying their in a cotius position and my wife said bang me, NOW! And he climbed on my wife and I mounted his wife and told her when her husband penetrated my wife I was penetrating her! He penetrated my wife and almost immediately penetrated his, we were all at it and moaning! A pretty good fuck with her moaning, crying, and saying look what you got me into! At least both the wives participated and had fun! Even with a very slow start it finishing with a great bang.
Yea had a similar encounter, found nothing our plan “B” was just do each other in the spare bedroom when we left the door open a crack, a newbie couple knocked on the door, and asked if they could watch, we said ok they sat on an otomon and we asked them to remove their clothes to watch. My wife started playing with him and seducing him and giving him a bj that he couldn’t refuse, I started to play with her and my wife gave herself some satisfaction and when everyone saw that they started too and I told her when her husband pentetrated my wife she was mine! By then she was so horny, no problem, she said she would willingly SUBMIT! New couple Ordained!