Review: Fucking Sculptures Corkscrew – Beautiful Piece of Art, Mediocre Sex Toy

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corkscrewI have many pieces in my toy collection that I feel could be considered objects of art. The nJoy toys definitely qualify, several of the glass toys, a few wooden dildos. All pleasure objects. Art pieces. The Corkscrew from Fucking Sculptures definitely qualifies. It is perhaps one of the most beautiful objects of art in my collection, green sparkling glass twisted into a bulky candy cane shape.

Bulky isn't a term you usually throw around when discribing the beauty of an object. But you do use it when describing some of our girthier toy friends we fuck. And this IS a fucking sculpture, after all.

The smallest point on the object refracts light through it, casting a green shadow on my desk below.

It's truly beautiful.

Which is why I'm so sad to report that it has a fatal flaw.

So toys like this, especially with handles that reach around, are designed pretty specifically for gspot and prostate play. And usually to be used ON the enjoyer by a second (or third, of course) party.

If you intend to use the Corkscrew as a gentle dildo, utilizing its temperature fluctuations and rigidity, sliding it between a partner's labia, (or yours, of course, being someone who doesn't have labia, I default) it works quite well. But take a good look at that image up top. The big bulb portion of the sculpture is wonderfully sized, well positioned, but there's that single ridge that protrudes from the bulb just a BIT too far.

We're seriously talking about maybe half an inch here, but it's too sharp a ridge for extended use and in both my girlfriend and myself produced pain after a short while of rubbing. So, do we rub hard? Well, yeah, cuz that's where the gspot money is at.

It's not like we were using the other end of the dildo, we were rubbing the intended end in the intended area and that produced pain, irritation, and, very quickly something you don't ever want to hear as a toy manufacturer: “Can we use something else?”

Having looked at the other Fucking Sculptures, I'm confident there are other objects of art that would serve us much better, as this company's work is both beautiful and varied. But this particular item and size just (and I'm cringing writing a comment this bad) rubbed us the wrong way.

So I don't know what to recommend, because I don't know how their production works. But I do know that these are all hand made, so if perhaps there was a way to lessen the ridges, make them more waves? Or perhaps there are people out there saying “Fuck! The ridges are the best part!” just, as Jack Nicholson might say, not anybody in THIS car.

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About Cooper Cooper S. Beckett is the co-founder and host of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast since 2010, author of swinging & polyamory novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity, and memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory. He teaches and speaks on swinging, polyamory, pegging, play parties, and coloring outside the boundaries of your sexuality. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino’s radio show Sex Out Loud. He is currently working on two instructional non-fiction books, one about beginning non-monogamy, and another about pegging.

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