Anyone who has been following my adventures in non-monogamy may know that before starting down this path, my life has been a bit sheltered. After six months of club nights, parties and meets, I find myself in the ridiculous position of having been to group sex, gangbangs, and orgies but had not spent even one minute in a strip club.
Let me go back a bit: long, long ago, I was an introvert, ok I am still an introvert but I am working on it. Before venturing out of my own head, and into the swinger and kink community, I could not generate the social courage to go and see beautiful naked women anywhere other than the internet or magazines. At first it was due to my awkwardness, possibly even shame, then because I was married and I thought I shouldn’t need to look elsewhere other than my wife. Later, because my boss frequented such establishments and tried to date the strippers, I felt I needed to maintain my own sense of superiority, and finally because I haven't the slightest idea how to behave at a strip club. I had some idea of what was expected and knew some of the carnal no-nos, but somewhere between a minor social faux-pas and getting thrown out of the club, I had no real idea of the spectrum. It seemed easier to avoid the whole experience than to admit I didn’t know what I was doing.
One thing that swinging has taught me, is that it is ok to not really know what you are doing, as long as you do not try and pretend you do. After my first somewhat courageous steps getting started at my swinging club, this new experience seemed do-able, even easier. Certainly it is more structured than a club night, less conversational than a munch, and less socially restrained than a private party. There are several strip clubs near where I work, and I once joked with my love that it was easier to find a place where a girl would take her clothes off, than to find a decent cheeseburger. To set the limits, on both time and money, I decided to try the breakfast “Legs and Eggs” and head to my job afterward.
I walked in and was not much surprised. I suppose the first time at the strip club one should stand mouth agape at the beautiful half-naked girls around, but honestly it was much tamer than what I have seen or even participated in. The dancers were beautiful, and varied, and frankly if some of them were at my swinger club I might find it in me (somehow) to strike up a conversation to see how compatible we were. Legs I saw a plenty, eggs however were nowhere to be found. I spent a few minutes looking around, and mentally shrugging “What the hell…” To prove I have learned a few things, I actually asked a staff member where the buffet was (see I can be taught). Downstairs… of course it is!
Breakfast in hand (I was starving) I watched one of the ladies finish her…act? Number? I think I need to learn the lingo before I start to write. She walked over near me afterward and we started talking. I told her it was my first time, not just to her club but to any club. She was rather nice and we talked for a little while. I gave her my opening line about attending orgies but not a strip club. She asked me about the orgies, (the few vanilla people I mention it to all seem very interested!) and I related my blog here at Life on the Swingset. We talked about my open relationship, and a little about her dancing. I gave her a few singles and told her I was going to meander a bit. She said if I wanted a private dance, just let her know. Maybe that’s another thing I like about swinging, it’s not all about the money. I know these girls are here to earn, and I don’t mean to waste their time either. Don’t mind me, I am still figuring all this out.
I then watched this truly gorgeous long haired brunette, with the highest platform shoes I have ever seen, pole dancing on the stage. She had fantastic natural breasts and a tattoo running up her torso. She also had magical eyes that seemed alive with possibilities. I gave her my very best smile, and perhaps taking a half second longer than was needed, slid a single under her g-string. It was then I felt the hook of the strip club bite. Its ladies and atmosphere press all the erotic buttons…for a price and at that moment I was glad I did this now, at this point in my life, after learning there are other paths available, knowing myself a little better, but choosing not to live in fear.
My time was just about up and I was due for work, but now I have almost tamed another dragon, not a big one for many people, but larger than most in my own world. I don’t know if or when I will be returning. It was fine…neither heaven nor hell… it is what it is I suppose. Compared to a swinger club it seems much better funded; it is sexy and polished and the girls I spoke with seemed very nice, but I am also aware of my own social limitations. If you are sitting at a poker game after 30 minutes and you are wondering who the mark is…you are the mark. I kept wondering how much I was the mark. Other than the cover charge (really equal to the price of any breakfast) and a few singles for the dancers it wasn’t expensive. This may also help me in the vanilla world, if for no other reason; I won’t be nearly as worked up if I get the opportunity to visit again.
Hi Salmon, long time no comment from me. I was just re-reading and catching up on your blog. Thought I’d raise my hand and admit that, at 52, I’ve yet to visit a strip club. That’s right: swinging for a couple years and wouldn’t know how to act in a strip club if I had to. I was invited to go with several co-workers a few times while out of town of business trips, but declined each time. I didn’t think that (aghast!) a married man should be, or needed to be at such an establishment. Kudos for dipping your toe into that pool. I’ll have to do that sometime soon just to learn the ropes.