SS 222: Gang Bang the MailBag 24 – Shy Male Swingers, Just Starting, Couples’ Jealousy, Online Frustration, Christian Swingers

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Swingset does as Chicago does with a 3-peat dip into the mailbag! We discuss discuss shy male swingers, just starting out in the lifestyle, couples’ jealousy, frustration with people who don’t read online profiles in their entirety, and Christian swingers! As always questions are edited for time and cohesion. If you have a question for an upcoming mailbag show, please leave us a voicemail at 573-557-9464.

Warning: Dylan tells TWO stories, and neither are particularly sexy but both are fairly gripping!

Question 1:

I’m hoping for some words of wisdom for a guy in the lifestyle who struggles to be appropriately assertive. While single I was one of those guys who needed flares, sirens, and flashing lights to know a woman was interested in me, and even then I was often hesitant. I’m now happily coupled and in the lifestyle, but no better at hitting on women or initiating any touching.

Part of my hang-up is the nausea induced by certain sleazy guys who “accidentally” rub against people in crowds or greet everyone with a grope. But a balance between assault and friendly passivity can’t be that hard to find, right? This has created some tension with my better half, because she feels as if she has to do more of the work when we’re in sexy circumstances, and it makes it harder for me to enjoy lifestyle events.

Question 2:

My wife and I have a wonderful marriage, awesome communication and an even better sex life. We’re entertaining a soft swap, FMF interaction. We want to make an informed decision together before fully trying swinging. What can you suggest tips, advice, information wise? And what’s the next step if we wanted to go through with it?

Dylan Thomas’ note: By the way, Cooper S. Beckett mentioned that our wonderful “Swinging for Beginners” series has quite a bit of content that can help! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/category/swinging-for-beginners for nine episodes where we focus entirely on the “new to the lifestyle” experience!

Question 3:

We were doing a lot of lifestyle events and really never met anyone that tripped both of our triggers until we met this one couple. We became very close, sharing each other and attending sexy events but staying faithful to each other as couples until recently. They attended an event and hooked up with a group of people, didn’t invite us and now we are struggling with the relationship. Sort of had our hearts broken. We never had any kind of agreement to stay with each other so we can’t fault them. Wondering if you have any advice?

Question 4:

We’re busy and don’t play with other couples (we prefer threesomes and orgies). That doesn’t mean we don’t want to meet sexy new friends, just that we’d rather do it in larger settings. We also get a fair amount of attention on the swinger dating sites — almost always from couples who want to meet up. (Our profile is clear that we don’t play with couples, but it’s obvious that some people only look at pictures.) Responding with something like, “we’re not available to meet, but we’ll be at a meet and greet so please come and say hello!” has always been met with silence. Are we doing something wrong? Is there a better way to say what we’re looking for?

Question 5:

We are Christians and go to church on Sunday. Are there a lot of Christian swingers? I’m afraid it will feel a little weird going to a club and having some fun then going to church a few days later.

 

Today, Life on the Swingset’s outro and voicemail featured Protostar & Draper – Chrysalis.

Buy Cooper’s book My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at MyLotSS.com

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A podcast about swinging, polyamory, open relationships, and "the lifestyle" from the trenches. A diverse group tackles many issues involved with non-monogamy and what it means to be a swinger or polyamorous from the point of view of educating and illuminating what, for many, is a confusing journey to start on. Subscribe on iTunes Subscribe on Stitcher Subscribe via RSS

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