Author: SeattlePolyChick

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SeattlePolyChick lives and works in Seattle, where she blogs and podcasts from a polyamorous, open, swinging, kinky, bisexual perspective. Her regular "cast of characters" includes her boyfriend Traveler and her boyfriend Cleveland, and the loves and others affectionately nicknamed "The Murder". It's as complicated and wonderful as it sounds. It's about love, sex, and relationships.

There is a brilliant blog post Cliff Pervocracy wrote in June 2012 about people in communities working around people instead of dealing with them. It’s not long and I HIGHLY recommend everyone in the polyamory, open, swinger, kink and sex communities read it. It’s called “The Missing Stair” and it’s found here. He talks about people in our communities that we’ve learned to ignore and work around. He says… “Have you ever been in a house that had something just egregiously wrong with it? Something massively unsafe and uncomfortable and against code, but everyone in the house had been there…

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Strong negative emotions suck. Sometimes my mind is a terrible place to be. I can be tortured by worry, jealousy, or anger or insecurity at times. My brain kicks out all kinds of unhelpful things, gut-punch thoughts about how everything I’m doing is a mistake or “they are better than me,” or other such nonsense. Maybe I just can’t stop thinking things I don’t want to think, or I have these feelings I can’t stand. Well, first, obviously I need to do some work on myself sometimes and do some thinking about the roots and causes of things and unsnarl…

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I keep thinking that all of the posts I write for the Swingset need to be sexy and I’ve just been in such a “feeling” place. And then it occurred to me that a few feelings posts are likely okay. It’s not like swingers aren’t humans with full compliments of feelings. For that matter the Swingset is popular with all kinds of ethically non-monogamous people. And most important of all, I can only share what I have. I’m a feeling, thinking, sexy person and my guess is you are too. So here’s the deal. I’m loving a little time of…

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A lot of us deal with insecurity or coming to terms with our “flaws.”  We carry stuff around from bad messages, or times we were hurt, and I had this kind of wonderful breakthrough and could see the falsehood of all that stuff I was carrying. I felt inspired to say this stuff on paper and to address that lying little voice in my head that tells me I’m too much or not enough, or the wrong kind.  I thought some of you might relate, especially after recently listening to episode 166 of the Life on the Swingset Podcast, and…

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One of the best little bits of advice I ever got for sex play was from a terrible teen-magazine-type article with a bunch of awful advice like decorating wherever you want someone to lick you with cake frosting, and then waiting for them to come home. Okay, I have to address that. Slight detour. WHY would you put sugary things in or on your vagina!?!? Oh. Is it just me that thinks of that when you say “wherever you want to be licked?” Or maybe it’s just me that wonders how I’d sit or what I would do while I…

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I have to admit I’m looking for a woman. I’d like to meet a cool sexy woman and have fun times. But I find myself shy now because I feel kind of creepy hitting on girls. I don’t really know why. I guess I feel creepy that I’d ideally like to find a bi-girl that might have interest in threesomes or play with me alone and with others. It could be casual or she and I could be more involved, depending on our connection. She would not have to play with my boyfriend, but I’d love it if it worked…

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I went on a date recently with a cool new guy I met on OK Cupid (OKC). For some reason, when we met in person I really liked him and found him funny and engaging and very cool, but I just don’t have the spark. This always makes me nervous. I hate telling people the chemistry just isn’t there, and some do not take this well…at all. A while back, before this recent date, I met a different guy on OKC who I thought via text was funny and irreverent. On our first date he plopped into the booth and…

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I just did two “relationshippy” blogs here, so I wanted to do more of a sexy-times post. So, I’ll just dive into the deep end here and talk about fisting. *blush* First, here are the disclaimers. No, I do not have a stretched out pussy. I’m not a virgin and I don’t think my pussy feels like I am, but I am nice and snug. I’m grippy. Pussies are versatile. Pussies are elastic. The vagina is fantastic. We can hold a tiny vibrating egg with ease and accommodate an intense fisting with the same lovely pussy. Magic. I swear. Secondly,…

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I am thinking about compassion and how it works in ethical non-monogamy. I’m thinking about the power of compassion to counteract times I’m suffering and when I’m tackling emotions and insecurities. Empathy is often my path to compersion, a.k.a. taking joy in my partner’s joy. I think learning to feel real and true empathy with everyone in a situation, and to have compassion for people gives me the freedom I crave. Many times I’ve been in a situation, angry at unfairness or feeling jealousy or envy or disdain at how someone is behaving, only to have it melt when I…

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I’ve been writing about love sex and relationships for about two years now. I thought I’d run out of things to say after a while, but I have had so much to talk about. My husband at the time and I had opened up our marriage and, for me, it was like when I finally came out as a bisexual. It was like coming home. This is who I am and there is a name for it! There are a lot of names for ways people are ethically non-monogamous; open, poly, swinger, kinky… whatever. It was amazing to see that…

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