Author: On The Wet Coast

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On The Wet Coast: Non-monogamous folx Kat Stark and Flick Morrison present a podcast about sexuality and ethical non-monogamy of every variety. We talk polyamory and swinging, monogamish and open relationships; from dirty, dirty sex to heartbreak. We share our personal experiences and philosophy, observations and theories, what works for us...and where we fucked it right up.

There’s a certain art to crafting the right kind of message to convey what we’re feeling via characters on a screen. Since so much of modern communication is done on said screens it can be a lot of work figuring out your personal style and mode of messaging. Non-monogamous people spend extra time communicating with multiple partners in multiple forms, from the simple ‘good morning’ to setting up dates to having sexy chat time to talking about challenging feelings and even breaking up. Without audible tone or nonverbal cues, it can sometimes be hard to convey your thoughts or truly…

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Accountability and Consent can feel like the least fun topics to discuss when it comes to sexy lifestyles but when we really focus on building these factors in a way that lets go of the definitions used by the justice system and focuses on the subjective experiences of the parties, our kink and sexytimes can be much more fun. In an era of social media call-outs, it might feel risky to take part in activities where consent factors strongly, which means quality negotiations and being accountable to the consent rules of others (as well as our own) are more important…

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It’s no secret that On The Wet Coast, we love our sex toys. Using those toys for strap-on sex is one of our favourite ways to engage with partners, or watch our partners engage with others. Though in some ways it is as simple as popping a dildo in a harness and getting to work, strap-on sex tends to be a bit more nuanced than we expect when starting out. Finding the right equipment, the right harness and dildo combinations can be more challenging than we expect, especially since what is right for one partner or act isn’t so right…

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It’s no secret that On The Wet Coast, we love our sex toys. Using those toys for strap-on sex is one of our favourite ways to engage with partners, or watch our partners engage with others. Though in some ways it is as simple as popping a dildo in a harness and getting to work, strap-on sex tends to be a bit more nuanced than we expect when starting out. Finding the right equipment, the right harness and dildo combinations can be more challenging than we expect, especially since what is right for one partner or act isn’t so right…

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We’re always told that confidence is sexy, but how do we find the confidence to be our true sexual selves? How do we embrace our bodies and our kinks so we can enjoy the kinds of sex we desire? Finding the confidence in ourselves while living in a society that is all about tearing us down is incredibly challenging. Figuring out how to put ourselves out there as confident sexual beings is a lot more difficult than simply deciding to do so. Learning to get comfortable with awkwardness is one of the keys to sexual confidence, another is knowing that…

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Finding your people can be one of the most important things you do as you make your way in the world, and when you find them, it feels like coming home. Feels like family. Many of us have found a group or groups of people we consider to be family. Chosen family as opposed to biological or family of origin can be essential especially for those of us in alternate lifestyles. The people we end up sharing our lives and experiences with can be extensive–not just our partners and close friends, but their partners, our former loves, casual sex friends,…

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Figuring out how to express our interest in someone can be one of the most challenging things in dating, especially if we find them really attractive, fun, or interesting. What do we say? What if they’re not into it? Why is it so hard to express ourselves in a fun, clear, non-creepy way? If what everyone we know reports about themselves is true, no-one is good at flirting. How the hell are any of us hooking up if this is a skill no-one has? On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark & Flick Morrison are joined by…

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Since the passage of FOSTA/SESTA in the US, sexual content on the internet has been progressively quashed, starting with shutting down places sex workers could advertise but flowing forward until Tumblr was all but shuttered when they were no longer allowed to have sexual content. Various agencies drop the scare words ‘sex trafficking’ and the changes are made under the guise of protecting the vulnerable but has had the opposite effect by forcing many sex workers onto the streets and taking away the resources they used to have to vett and screen clients. On this episode of On The Wet…

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Our desire for sexual experiences–both solo and with a partner or partners–fluctuates for countless reasons. Stress, fatigue, hormones, depression, body image, and connectivity are just a few of the things that can affect a person’s libido. Since we live in such a sex negative society talking about negative impacts on libido are considered frivolous since sexuality isn’t considered to be a worthwhile measure of quality of life. It’s also not stressed that we connect and partner with people who share similar libidos to ours since sexual compatibility is a shallow and selfish measure of relationship quality. Today On The Wet…

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If you’re lucky, the place where you’re living has a thriving sex -positive community and it takes little effort to find and take part in events such as meet-ups, workshops, and conventions. Most likely, that’s not the case and either there isn’t much of a community or the community that is there doesn’t align with your interests, ethics, or outlook. Sometimes, you’ve got to step forward and spearhead building that community yourself. It’s a bit of a terrifying concept, but it can be done. Today On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark and Flick Morrison talk with two people who are…

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