Review: Flavored Lubes by System JO

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This is a fresh from the Swingset Labs testing review.  (And we all know what THAT means!)

Marilyn and I have been dying to try out the System JO product line ever since Holly and Tyler first introduced us to their standard silicone lube way back when.  We've always been impressed with the smoothness and silkiness of their product without a lot of the caveats that we usually find in lubes, stickiness, needing a LOT, etc.  When UPS left us package notification (with signature required when we weren't home, of course!) and we saw that the box was from System JO, we hopped in the Swingsetmobile and rushed over to pick it up.

Honestly, the first of System JO‘s products we chose to review was sort of a “let's get this over with” type thing.  The flavored lubes.   Sitting in front of us were three bottles: “Chocolate Delight,” “Cherry Burst,” and “Strawberry Kiss.”   Sigh.  Flavored lubes.  We never quite understood the point of them.  How much lube is really necessary when giving a blow job anyway?  We've never found the need.   But we're definitely in the advanced class at the sexplay table, so we thought about it from a different point of view.  Perhaps those who don't quite feel comfortable yet with certain tastes, smells, scents…etc.

Okay then, let's wipe our heads like an etch a sketch, remove all preconceived notions about flavored lubes and yump on into the time machine to a simpler time when things were more “you want me to put WHAT in my mouth?”  (Though between you and me and the sex swing, Marilyn never asked that question, if you know what I mean.)   I asked Marilyn which one she wanted to try to before I could finish, she said “strawberry!”  (Interestingly, statistically speaking, strawberry and cherry are the two most searched for flavors of flavored lube…and this is a “fact” in that I pulled it off a google search for information about flavored lube…I didn't even read the article, it may have been about candy…)

One of the interesting things about these lubes is in their bottle design.  The cap flips up when you press a large and friendly red button on the side of the cap.  When it popped open, it came a little bit all on its own and sprayed Marilyn in the face with a bit of strawberry goodness.  “I think it likes you,” I suggested.  She wiped it off her face and tasted it.  “Mmmm, yummy!”  I squeezed a bit onto my finger and tasted as well.  I expected it to be some overwhelming gummy bear version of strawberry, so I was pleased when it turned out to be far more mild.

As I finished tasting, Marilyn had it on her hands, and on me and was going to town.   “Well?” I asked, trying to keep my mind focused on the task at hand…the SCIENCE of review!   She gave me a thumbs up and waved me off.  I decided to try the chocolate flavored one on her, and maneuvered her on top.  I was VERY impressed by the chocolate flavoring.  It tasted an awful lot like chocolate syrup, which I've used during sex before but never happily.  (I'm not a person who likes sticky messes…ironic, doncha think?)  The chocolate disguised the…ahem…natural flavors (which I happen to be a fan of) quite well, chalk up another win for System JO's flavored lube.

For the last one, cherry burst, we'll spare you the graphic details, but suffice to say, when attempting analingus (especially the first few times) it sure wouldn't hurt if it tasted like cherry, or strawberry…or…(MUST RESIST TERRIBLE AWFUL JOKE ABOUT CHOCOLATE!!!! [Whew!])

So, wrapping up here, I'm very pleased to report that JO's flavored lubes are actually pretty damned impressive.  They've taken the high quality of their water based lube (full review forthcoming) and added real quality flavors to it without whoring themselves up like a painted woman in the red light district.  (There's a redundancy in there somewhere.)  We recommend it highly.

And I don't wanna jinx it, but after everything we've seen thus far, it's distinctly possible that System JO is our NEW FAVORITE LUBE COMPANY!*

*Life On The Swingset hasn't endorsed any lube companies, or claimed any to be their favorite yet, so while System JO may be the “new” favorite, that statement should not be taken as implying there was once an “old” favorite.

Full Disclosure: We did not purchase this product, it was sent to us specifically for review. Our policy is to, regardless of how we acquired a product, review it fairly and openly. No writer for Life On The Swingset will ever deliberately mislead our readers into believing that a product is good because of anything we received from the company. We are open and honest, and cannot be bought or bribed. If we love a product, we'll tell you, if we don't, BELIEVE us, we'll tell you that too. End disclaimer.

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About Cooper Cooper S. Beckett is the co-founder and host of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast since 2010, author of swinging & polyamory novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity, and memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory. He teaches and speaks on swinging, polyamory, pegging, play parties, and coloring outside the boundaries of your sexuality. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino’s radio show Sex Out Loud. He is currently working on two instructional non-fiction books, one about beginning non-monogamy, and another about pegging.

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