As I have mentioned, I live in the middle of America in a small little town where nothing of consequence happens. It’s also not a place to engage in activities that are counter-cultural or perhaps a little kinky. While in New Orleans on my business trip, I decided that I would get my nose pierced—something that I have wanted to do for a while but I’m afraid of the one and only piercing shop in my little town.
I have also been very curious by the piercings that Lifestyle friends have “down there.” One of my best girlfriends in the lifestyle has a clitoral hood piercing and she swears her orgasms are more intense and loves, loves, loves, her piercing.
I decided I would get the nose ring for sure and my decision to do anything else would depend on my vibe on the parlor. I grabbed a cab to the Electric Ladyland Tattoo parlor on Frenchman Street. It received rave reviews on Yelp and from a swinger I had met at Colette’s the night before. The place was enormous—six tattoo artists working simultaneously and one piercing artist.
After signing various forms and paying my money, I was taken to a back room where I met the piercing artist. I asked a lot of questions about my nose ring and was thoroughly impressed by his experience, his apprenticeship, his medical-like knowledge of his craft, his pleasant demeanor and his ability to put me at ease. The room and the entire parlor were spotless and he observed very careful sterile procedures throughout my nose piercing.
So, on a whim, I decided to also get a VCH—a vertical clitoral hood. Very few people get the clitoris itself pierced and doing so could cause nerve damage. Instead, a VCH pierces the hood over the clitoris. The direction of the piercing—vertical or horizontal—depends on the anatomy of the woman, although the VCH is the most common. The ornament that my guy recommended was a crescent shaped bar. All that is seen from the outside is the ball. The bar runs underneath the hood where it is fastened by another ball. The bar itself rests on the clitoris, which is the reason for improved stimulation and the potential for intense orgasms.
My piercing guy said that it takes about six weeks for the piercing to heal—by far the fastest healing of any piercing. My nose on the other hand would take six months. During that healing time, I should use a condom during sex, even with Mr. Doubleplay, to ensure that any bacteria would not enter the open wound. Sex could resume in 24-48 hours depending on my swelling.
“Let’s do it before I chicken out!” I told him. First he needed to do an assessment to be sure that my hood was long enough to hold an ornament. This test is accomplished by testing to see if a q-tip can hide inside the hood without being seen. I passed with flying colors.
My piercer was gentle and clear. Take deep slow breaths. Don’t jerk away. It will be over before you know it. The pain was fierce but only for about a second. Then it was over and I had a cute little silver button decorating my pussy. It is adorable and I like how it kind of sends the message, “Lick here please.”
I called Mr. Doubeplay to inform him of my surprise and walked my way back through the French Quarter to my hotel, carrying my little secret with me all the way. Right now, it feels irritating—like there is something there that shouldn’t be. That passes in a few days my BFF lifestyle friend assures me. And then the fun begins!