Making sex as hot and sexy as possible includes feeling safe and comfortable when you are playing. Anytime you are engaging in sexual activity you are taking a risk. For the great majority of us, a healthy sexual life is well worth the risk. Of course, the best way to minimize your risk is to know and trust your lovers and use all the safer sex practices you feel are necessary to make you feel comfortable.
An excellent entrée into a sexual health conversation with lovers is to know your sexual health status and share that in a conversation before any hot and heavy playing gets rolling. Your sharing begins an exchange of open and honest communication and is a smooth segue into discussion of which safer sex practices you wish to integrate into your play time.
The best way to know your sexual health status is to have a doctor you can share with a trust who is not judgmental of your sexual practices whatever they may be. Establishing a regular pattern of full-panel (meaning testing for all STIs) sexually transmitted infection (STI) testing. In the non-monogamous world, I have heard friends talk about testing once a year, every six months or regularly and randomly depending on their sexual activity.
If you don’t feel comfortable discussing testing and status with your doctor, you may wish to seek out a doctor with whom you do feel comfortable discussing your total health. In the meantime, the best resource anywhere in the United States is your local Planned Parenthood. They take insurance and also provide a sliding pay scale depending on your income. Don’t let cost deter you from knowing your status. Maintaining your health is too important.
Planned Parenthood is also an excellent resource for educating yourself about all the best ways to practice safer sex. From sticking to less risky, but still hot, sexy tricks (like making out and mutual masturbation) to consistently using barriers like condoms, minimizing risks maximizes sexiness…because staying healthy is sexy.
If you have a fluid-bonded primary partner (meaning a partner with whom you engage in unprotected practices), remember to continue to talk about what expectations you have for one another’s safer sex practices. Decide together what safer sex practices are required for each of you to feel healthy and sexy and be 100% consistent.
Even as the sexually adventurous and experienced hotties that we are, we still have the vulnerability to compromise our sexual health when subtly or not-so-subtly encouraged to do so. Stay strong. Respect yourself. Respect your partner. Only share your delicious sexual skills and incredible hotness with those who respect themselves enough to know their status. You deserve only the hottest sexual experiences and being able to surrender fully into the experience stems from feeling empowered and healthy. Enjoy!