Out of Body Experiences: Losing Myself in the Moment


I drive quite a bit in my day to day work as an underground secret agent who works for the shadow government…'s IT support service (You may have noticed this by looking closely at strange technology references), but I was driving behind a truck that hadn't yet let the snow drift off its roof.

By the way, I apologize ahead of time… 🙂 But I'm in a stream of consciousness mood, so a stream of consciousness is what I'll continue typing!

I experienced a brief moment in time this morning where I lost myself and let my senses flood into my consciousness at full speed. It was completely unintentional and amazing.

The sun is in the distance, just risen over the horizon, and it is shining off all the powder coming off the truck. I see sparkles, glints of light just shining right into my eyes, almost blinding, but wonderful in its complexity. I experienced a small moment in time where everything faded away and I just experienced the beauty in the moment. A couple of real seconds later (but after what felt like at least a few minutes) I'm back, driving, and thinking… WOW… what just happened there?

I thought back, two nights ago, to a party Tonia and I attended with four other couples. The night started out with a lot of chat, hors d'oeuvres, cocktails, and moved onto a fantastic little playtime game that features copious amounts of upskirt shots, plenty of tense humor-filled moments, and oh… oh god, the laughter… good stuff.

After the games people started melding together, kissing, touching, enjoy themselves. Everyone was paired up with other people in some form or another except for Tonia and I, it just worked out that way, so we went upstairs and took a little time to admire the toy collection. We grabbed a couple, and enjoyed trying new things. After a while another couple joined us, but it was still separate activity. So everything's pretty standard so far, having a great time, good company, good drinks, and good sex.

Then we went downstairs, relaxed, and watched everyone enjoy everyone else. The call goes out for the NJoy Pure Wand, though it was referred to as “the comma” which makes total sense, so I head upstairs, grab it, head back down, and watch it in use. This toy is one of my favorites, it's on my “buy as soon as possible” list right now, I've been able to do some really innovative things with it that I'm not sure anyone else would have thought of. After watching for a while, I joined in, and in the midst of the pleasure, the orgasms, the soundscape, the ambiance, the music… everything just started flooding in.

I'm a bigger guy, and I generally have a very good bead on where I am in relative to everything else, and I have a very conscious sense of what I look like, how I come off, how I smell… everything about me, at almost all times. I feel comfort in that sense of control and command of myself. I'm light on my feet, look good, and generally have a good amount of confidence. Despite that, I'm still self-conscious about the way I look, and it's occasionally been an issue for me internally. I get past it, I deal with it, but it's still there.

After everything started flooding in, I felt myself start to melt away. I stopped perceiving myself, my body, my own head and my own thoughts, and started living in the moment. Every little bit of pressure I put, every time I moved my fingers, it didn't feel like I was doing something… I felt I was experiencing it, fully involved in the giving and the receiving of whatever sensory information was floating around. Every time I pressed closer to the person I was with, when I held the small of her back while I pressed in with the toy, when I'd move face to face and brush lip to lip and breathe in and hold… I didn't feel like me, I felt like I was floating, almost a non-descript presence in the room, but experiencing everything that was going on at full intensity. I felt like I'd melted into the incredible woman I was pleasuring and experienced it all for myself.

Even after I'd taken a short break to grab some water and moved onto someone else, I felt like I shifted almost instantly back into the hyper-sensory mode I was in, I stopped sensing myself and just … sensed, everything and really lost myself, and enjoyed every little tremor, moan, squeeze, breath… oh wow, just writing about this is bringing me back to this so intensely.

When you get to a point where you're around other people enjoying themselves, it tends to send off these … unidentifiable waves of emotion that penetrate and affect everything around. The people I spent time with, everyone in the room, everything… it all added up to an incredible experience, it's nothing I've experienced anywhere or any other time.

… and I got to do it with my wife, and some of my good friends, I got to share it with everyone.


As a co-host on Life on the Swingset and creator of The Gentleperverts' Social Club, Dylan Thomas speaks candidly about nonmonogamy, kink, and non-normative sexuality to eradicate the stigma and shame that keep people from expressing and being who they want. He brings awareness to issues involving gender identity, equal rights, and intersectionality by creating discussions with people who feel unaffected by them. He also creates learning opportunities for men to become stronger allies and better people. Find and feel free to engage him on Twitter.


  1. I wish there was a way to train someone how to do this…..it is super-elusive. I've never fully felt it…..but I've gotten close enough once or twice to at least lose the self-conciousness. Wish that were regular.

    Kudos to you!!!

  2. Oooooh…toybeast, I wish I could help. I regularly go to that amazing, surreal, out-of-body place when the experience is spectacularly hot. I am always among trusted friends and can truly let go of the outward connections. I wish transcendent sexual experiences for everyone! That is what it is all about.

  3. I've been lucky enough to experience similar situations with scenes I have participated during BDSM/Play parties that I attend. Where I begin to fell less associated with being the actor, or subject, and feel as if the entire collection of people are moving in a fantastic dance. Those really are times that I tend to treasure;, Because of my natural introversion, and I'm a tall/broad guy but I'm not really a dominant personality, I find it sometimes difficult to navigate the landscape in BDSM, and Swinging communities. Even short periods of this type of connectedness can raise your comfort level with a group so much, that it helps you to connect with those people more easily at future parties and events. IMHO…

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