The View from the Urinal – At Desire Resort and Spa


One of the men’s washrooms at Desire Riviera Maya is located opposite the resort’s rooftop hot tub. There is a small window right above the only urinal in that washroom. During multiple visits to the resort, the high vantage point of that window gave me a westward view inland while standing there. The view would never be described as particularly striking; mostly the tops of mangroves for miles and some distant electrical towers. At night, lights twinkle into existence following a hidden highway and some building further west. Strange as it may sound, that unremarkable view became very special to me. I would look forward to looking out that window.  That time standing at the urinal, looking west, was a short pause from the awesome bacchanalian chaos that is the Desire hot tub. It was an opportunity to step back for a moment, figuratively, of course, and be in the moment of everything that happened leading up that very point in time. I quickly associated that view with reflecting on my relationships and life’s fortune to be in that place, before making my way back to the hot tub and jump into that little cauldron of humanity.

For those who may not be familiar with Desire Riviera Maya, it is a couples-only, clothing optional resorts located close to Cancun, Mexico. The resort caters to adults looking for an exotic flare. From nudists to lifestyle swingers, you will find it here. Desire is a compact resort. It is intimate. It never feels crowded and the smaller venue makes meeting people easy. For those of us that fit in the introverted category or simply less gregarious than most, the resort layout breaks down those barriers to meeting people. Be it in the hot tub, by the lobby bar, poolside or on the beach, all you have to do is smile and say, “hi, I’m…”  I promise, during your stay you will meet amazing and fun people.

For my wife and I, Desire has become a little piece of heaven on Earth. It is where we got into the lifestyle. It’s where we made amazing friends for life, where we fell in love with other people and where we fell deeper love with each other over and over again. It is a beautiful little place that seems to compress and dilate time all at once. It has been our place where we can explore our sexuality and face our insecurities. It has never failed to stimulate discussion and introspection, even months or years after leaving the resort. We carry those experiences into our daily lives. So many of the experiences we have had or people that we have met there have come at a timeliness that can only be described as freakish. To a point where I describe it simply by saying, “Desire provides.” It has provided what we have needed when we have needed it. You may already have your own place on earth that provides for you in a meaningful way, and I dearly wish for everyone to have that, wherever that may be.

During our most recent visit, the view from the window above the urinal had changed. The palm trees below the window have grown to a point where I can no longer look out over the mangrove jungle. I can’t see the lights from the highway anymore. All I see now are gently swaying palms. I guess, like the view, we have changed as well. We have not been idle. We have done our best to live in the moment and loved hard. We have faced fears, and overcome challenges. Like the palm trees since our first visit to Mexico 8 years ago, we have grown. Like every other prior trip, Desire provided what we needed at this stage of our lives. The new view is not bad. I kind of like it.  


Kinky, laid back, ethically non-monogamous and living life to the fullest.

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