GPSC 006: Heavy – Victims, Blowing Off a Date, This Week in Cats! – The Gentleperverts’ Social Club


Welcome back Perverts! So I’ve settled on twice a month instead of every two weeks. DEAL WITH IT. If you want more, contribute more! Put me out of podcast word talking business! Ignore my reality and substitute your own by sending your thoughts, your clips, your, to quote Donald Trump, your whatever, to and we’ll talk.

So. I’m calling this week’s show, “heavy”. We’ll discuss sexual assault victims and why we have a hard time believing them, discuss chaining shame spells together after blowing off a date, and if you continue to listen after the end credits you’ll get a special “This Week in Cats” that was totally not planned… but sometimes you apparently just have to talk about cats.

Segment 1: Blowing Off a Date

I had a haughty taughty monocled discussion topic ready for Mr. Pent, The Frisky Fairy, Dirty Lola, and Andrea Renae to discuss about intent. They substituted my reality for their own and, while they eventually mozied onto why not meaning to hurt people but still doing so is the same to some as purposefully hurting people, they start by discussing the implications of blowing off a date.

Dirty Lola is SELECTIVELY down to fuck, you can find her at, on twitter as @DirtyLola, and find her podcast, Sex Ed A-Go-Go here on the Swingset network at

Andrea Renae is a sexuality educator and coach working in the kink and polyamory communities. You can find her at and at on twitter at @theandrearenae. She also works with the Sexuality in Communities Oral History Project based out of Philadelphia which you can find at

Mr. Pent is a poly, kinky, and swing…y? He’s also my good friend, and you can find him on twitter at @mr_pent and find his blog at

Rebecca Hiles aka The Frisky Fairy is a sex educator and dating coach out of the DC Region and you can find her everywhere, twitter, tumblr, etc… @TheFriskyFairy.




Segment 2: Why is it so hard to believe sexual assault victims?

Without mentioning Bill Cosby any more than necessary… New York Magazine’s cover article, “I’m No Longer Afraid” exposed in a very visual and visceral way the gulf between the rights of the accuser, and the rights of the accused. #theemptychair, started by Elon James White of This Week in Blackness, gave women a place to express their assault stories and explain why they didn’t speak up and it got me wondering why otherwise decent people treat sexual assault victims the same way we usually treat criminals, and in the process… got me thinking about just how some people go about acquiring sex. There’s a wide path we take to getting there but stick with Samantha Frasier, Katie Mack and myself as we deconstruct what the hell is going on.

Samantha Frasier is a life coach, polyamory advocate, consultant and executive producer of the Playground conference taking place November 13-15 2015 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. You can find her @nympsam and at

Katie Mack is a blogger, a toy reviewer, co-host of Carnalcopia and an all-around wonderful and insightful human being. You can find her on Twitter @ThatKatieMack and find Carnalcopia at



Also apparently 11-35 of the Illinois Criminal code reads:

Sec. 11-35. Adultery.
(a) A person commits adultery when he or she has sexual intercourse with another not his or her spouse, if the behavior is open and notorious, and
(1) The person is married and knows the other person involved in such intercourse is not his spouse; or
(2) The person is not married and knows that the other person involved in such intercourse is married.
A person shall be exempt from prosecution under this Section if his liability is based solely on evidence he has given in order to comply with the requirements of Section 4-1.7 of “The Illinois Public Aid Code”, approved April 11, 1967, as amended.
(b) Sentence.
Adultery is a Class A misdemeanor.

… oh dear.

You can find more Gentleperverts podcasts every month at and discuss our latest episodes and topics at or on twitter at #GPSC and @GentlePerverts. You can find me, Dylan Thomas, on twitter, FacebookSpotify and Fetlife as DylanTheThomas. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic send that to


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    On Wednesday, I listened to this episode. While, given the gravity of segment 2, ‘enjoyed’ does not quite seem to fit, the topic and its discussion is important.

    On Thursday, I was reminded of a quote attributed to Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:
    ‘Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter…
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.’

    Sometimes, the Universe has a way of throwing meaningful stuff out there for us at the appropriate time.

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