The Crash Pad Series Queer Porn Review: Episode 156 – Ham Hawk, Minax & Hotlips Hooligan

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The Crash Pad Series Queer Porn Review: Episode 156 - Ham Hawk, Minax & Hotlips HooliganWelcome to another Crash Pad Series review, episode 156 – this time, we’re in for some hot as hell Upstairs Downstairs-style role play with Ham Hawk, Minax and Hotlips Hooligan (when your name’s a reference to MASH, you’re a good’un in my book).

The scene starts off with a bang – literally – as Ham and Hotlips are having very loud and very passionate sex (under the ever-watchful eye of the Keymaster, of course). Ham points out that Hotlips could do with being a little quieter, as “she might hear us.”

She being Minax, who storms into the room in not at all a good mood. She is most definitely not pleased about Ham fucking the “hired help” (Hotlips is playing the role of the gardener) and is about to make it clear just how much. Ham gets bent over and given a couple of thorough spanks on the ass before the breasts get a seeing to as well. Hotlips, admittedly turned on from watching Minax punish Ham, starts kissing Minax… and it’s not too long before Ham and Hotlips start convincing Minax that she could do with putting her prejudice towards the hired help aside.

God, if only Pride and Prejudice had more hot queer fucking in it… Or any for that matter.

The threesome take this afternoon delight to the bedroom, where (after a bit of redemptive attention to Minax’s ass from Ham) Minax produces two gloriously big steel toys (which, if I’m not mistaken – Njoy?) and announces that she’s going to fuck both Ham and Hotlips with them at the same time. I have to hand it to Minax, she’s pretty damn deft at what she’s doing because I imagine that fucking two people at the same time with heavy steel toys in either hand takes a bit more dexterity than you’d be used to.

I like that Ham and Hotlips, throughout all of this, keep lovingly touching and kissing each other. It’s cute and hot at the same time.

After the orgasms, Minax decides she wants her turn and instructs Ham to suck her toes, while her gardener is told she “may do whatever she likes. Show me some appreciation.”

I have to say that I am incredibly impressed with Minax throughout this scene – she is incredibly good at what she does, and when she’s angry, she is fearsome. When she’s playful, she’s sexy as hell. Most importantly, she is always utterly in control, even when Hotlips is showing appreciation to her by giving her oral pleasure. She finishes herself off manually, with Ham nestled between her thighs as she squirts. Her orgasm is intense as heck, as she rides Ham’s face, getting her juices all over the place.

Cold shower. Needed.

The best part of the scene however, is the next bit, as Hotlips is instructed to put a glove on and then proceeds to manually fuck Ham as Ham in turn manually fucks Minax. With Minax fucking herself with a butt plug at the same time. And then a Hitachi comes into play. It’s dizzying to watch, and you kind of want to have a lie down before moving on to the next bit.

You know, a “lie down.”

Afterwards, Hotlips gets her pleasure again as Ham works her pussy while Minax gets out the Hitachi for her clit. Minax then gets hands on with Ham as Ham continues to work Hotlips to a sticky, loud and ecstatic climax.

All in all, it’s a good scene, and I like the role playing element. Minax is a stand-out, and Hotlips and Ham are very sweet together. I was utterly exhausted from watching it though, because a lot happens in this scene!

Parting words from Minax, as she lies on top of Ham, lying on top of Hotlips? “Shall we get lunch? I’m thinking… ham sandwiches?”

Tee hee. I do so love the humor in Crash Pad.

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Jillian Boyd has been blogging about sex, love and relationships (as well as the general weird observations she tends to make) since 2011. She's also the author of a host of erotic short stories, and hopes to be the author of quite a few more. A freelance film pundit, Jillian often talks movies on Dork Adore and is hoping to figure out a way to actually move in to her local cinema and live there. She has recently taken up anthology editing, and describes working on her first anthology as an editor (Flappers, Jazz and Valentino, House of Erotica, 2014) as "utterly terrifying but genuinely glorious in the end". She is currently working on a second anthology. As an author, she's been published with the likes of Cleis Press, House of Erotica and Constable and Robinson. Curiosity is her greatest driver, along with caffeine and an open mind. Read more on ladylaidbare

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