Review: A Trio of Lubes from Wicked Sensual Care

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Review: A Trio of Lubes from Wicked Sensual CareQuite a lot of time has gone by since I last shifted my lube allegiance. In the early days of swinging, and the early days of this blog, I tried out just about every type of lube I saw. Mainly because other swingers had their own lube allegiances, too. So while I was trying out other people, I was trying out an amazing variety of lube. What was really amazing, though, was how bad much of it was. Certainly the drugstore brands. You know, the little bottles up on top of the condom endcap, usually KY Jelly or Astroglide.

Now don't get me wrong, these lubes were a far cry better than the lube most couples normally used. (Nothing.) But as I learned more about them, and realized the variety available to me, I moved into another category of lube consumer. (Not the drinking it category. Or the 55 Gallon Drum category.) I stuck with my favorite for multiple years. So as I may have Masturbation Death Grip Syndrome, I also may have lube favoritism syndrome.

I'm always skeptical when a new lube comes my way. So when the trio of bottles from Wicked Sensual Care showed up, I gave them a cursory glance and put them on my nightstand. We received Wicked's Jelle (a water based anal lubricant), Aqua (as you can guess, a water based lube), and Aqua Candy Apple (a surprising flavor amongst the cornucopia of flavored lubes at Swingset headquarters.)

I've noticed that even the lowest quality lubes perform well in ideal situations. That ideal being a well lubricated pussy. In this situation the natural lubrication mixes with the lube and creates a pleasantly slippery environment that doesn't dry up and get tacky. The real testing grounds for me will always be anal penetration and masturbation. (Yep, me. You know, jackin' it.) As you know, the rectum doesn't produce lubrication and the anus plays Gandalf and The Balrog: The Home Game (“You! Shall not! Pass!”) without some thick lubey assistance.

Why don't we start there, actually. For anal play, I prefer (and recommend) a thicker gel based lube than those thinner silicone or water based lubes. Wicked's Jelle more than does the trick. Thick and smooth, coating the penetrating item (Today's test brought to you by the comma, The nJoy Pure Wand) the way our old friend petroleum jelly might, except without all the overseas conflict. The lube is quite soft and smooth too, something I attributed it the inclusion of aloe. If you're going to be using the lube along with some oral stimulation, be aware that it has a bit of…a…metallic flavor? Anyway. It also didn't dry up or get sticky. Good on the Jelle!

Moving on to our two water based “general lubes” the Aqua, and his saucy cousin Aqua Candy Apple. (With a picture of a caramel apple on the front, to which I'm tempted to go off on a discussion of the difference between a caramel apple and a candy apple, but that'd likely take too many levels of brackets to complete.) The Aqua performs nicely as expected for the easy lube challenge (remember, the good ole PIV [Penis In Vagina] sex) so I moved on to the masturbation test round.

Both the Aqua and Aqua Candy Apple performed roughly the same, I couldn't really tell the difference between the two of them, which is a good thing, because you don't want to have your flavored lube in the “oral sex only” closet because that's just a tremendous waste of money. As it advertises on the bottle, never sticky. It really doesn't get sticky. It just sort of dries up. But it doesn't do that quickly. You'd have to be playing a real long game of (jackin' it) masturbation to get it to dry up more than once. So the reapply is easy. The weight of the lube is very light, and the feel of it is definitely more akin to some of its silicone brothers than most water based lube, a pleasant surprise.

Another pleasant surprise is the flavor of our Candy Apple friend. It tastes like a candy apple. Not that overwhelming Jolly Rancher apple flavoring either. Most flavored lubes wind up tasting like candy. And STRONG candy. (which is, in my opinion, to mask the overwhelming natural lube flavor) The candy apple flavor of this lube is actually subtle, so wouldn't quickly make your face go numb like some of the strawberry lubes I've tried. Their other magical flavor is Salted Caramel, which I find fascinating, but unfortunately didn't get to try.

Speaking of flavor, the Aqua SANS candy apple…not so great flavor wise. I know most of you don't taste lube frequently, but it happens. I think it tastes quite similar to the Jelle (but am just about done squirting non-flavored lube on my fingers and licking it off) and I can more readily identify the simulacrum flavor here…bubbles. Like children's backyard bubbles. So, um, not a good flavor.

I'm impressed with Wicked Sensual Care's lube line overall. Their quality is good, and their packaging is also good. The thicker Jelle in a tube style bottle, with the thinner ones in a pump bottle. (Though nothing compared to the exceptional [and traditional]Liquid Silk pump bottle.)*

*An amendment to that last paragraph written later (and apparently as a footnote in the middle of an article, take that MLA handbook) is that both Ophilia and I ran into the same problem with the pump, a press down didn't deposit the lube in our hands, but across the room. So…perhaps an adjustment of the bottles is necessary. Unless you're into a good game of “lube catch.”

And gotta say, I really enjoy the candy apple flavor. Going in my kit to squirt on a dental dam. (Because risk aware sex.)

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About Cooper Cooper S. Beckett is the co-founder and host of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast since 2010, author of swinging & polyamory novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity, and memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory. He teaches and speaks on swinging, polyamory, pegging, play parties, and coloring outside the boundaries of your sexuality. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino’s radio show Sex Out Loud. He is currently working on two instructional non-fiction books, one about beginning non-monogamy, and another about pegging.

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