Swinger Beginnings: Wishes and Oak Leaves

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Swinger Beginnings: Wishes and Oak LeavesWhen I was much younger, younger then my own children are currently, let’s call it a tween, though there was no name for such a category at the time, my eyes would look upwards toward the changing fall foliage. My sister and I would chase leaves falling off the trees in the wind. If you could catch a leaf before it touched the ground you get a wish. I don’t know where this notion originated; I don’t remember any book or movie we might have borrowed it from; it may have been something we made up. The two of us would spend our time waiting for the school bus chasing the mid-air leaves slowly circling down in the hope we could catch one. If you ever try this, it is harder than it looks, you earn your wish. There is also a fair amount of luck involved.

Earlier this Autumn, while in my own little head space on the morning run, a leaf happened to land on my chest and then fall into my hands. I would like to say it was brilliant orange like the sugar maples this time of year, melding from yellow into crimson, but the truth is oaks simply turn a dull reddish brown, like the ten trillion other oak leaves in the New England woods. But of all those ten trillion leaves, this one was mine. I thought seriously for a time about my wish, and my good fortune.

I have been miraculously fortunate so far in the lifestyle. I have a wife who cannot participate in swinging, but is confident enough to let me explore it without her. I have been lucky enough to join a club with a great collection of members who have been rather forgiving of my honest mistakes. I have found a tremendous resource with Life on the Swingset, and I am still listening to previous podcasts (gotta catch ‘em all!) and gaining perspective and judgment. I have taken these situations and begun to transform them into amazing experiences and I hope to continue to grow and learn.

I am apt to use the phrase “I would rather be lucky than good.” Now that I see how lucky I am, it is time to try and make myself better. I am beginning to reach out to members of the community outside of the club. I am making connections at Kasidie, and looking to Fetlife for a local munch to branch out more on the BDSM side. I am hoping to attend a swinger party in the not too distant future and see how that dynamic develops.

It seems while beginning swinging, I have also had a leaf fall into my hands, maybe not quite by accident, but probably as much by fortune as by intent. I would now like to contribute to those things I would like to see grow. I want to nourish those groups I would like to see succeed. I would like to add my experience for others to read and learn. The hardest part is figuring out how to reach those people who are not already here. If you are reading this, congrats you have made the hardest part of the journey already. I am challenged on how we can communicate with those who don’t know where to look. For now I will continue to write for those finding their way, and try to remember that knowing the path and walking it are two different things.

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The Salmon is exploring swinging and poly as a married single. Married for over 20 years, he and his love explore non-monogamy together and in different ways.

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