Lifestyle, the Universe and Everything


Lifestyle, the Universe and EverythingWhile we call it ‘The Lifestyle,’ my guess is that for most, like for me, swinging is really more of a hobby. A hobby to which I devote what time I can, but a hobby nonetheless. Like people who are into camping or cooking or sailing or whatever, if there is time on the weekend available to pursue the hobby, I will. Any available Friday and/or Saturday night, you can find Mrs. Duncan and I at a club or a party or occasionally out with another couple. During the week, when time allows, we have even been known to attend a meet and greet or munch (what fetish folk call meet and greets) or two. When traveling we try to visit a local club if there is time.

But therein lies the rub, it has to be an available night when we can shuffle off this vanilla coil. For the past few weekends and the next few to come, our vanilla life is consuming all of our time. There were and are weddings, business trips, college visits, birthdays, work demands, etc., etc, etc. Like most hobbyists when removed from their hobby for a while, we have missed the lifestyle.

We recently had a business trip half way across the country that allowed us to plan some swinger adventures. Since we were alone (ie no kids or direct business associates) we could plan some lifestyle fun in our free time. In the weeks leading up to the trip, I had researched clubs in the area and set up a dinner /drinks date with a couple we met online. As soon as we were out of our local airport, the black rings went on our right hands.

Friday night we went to one of the local swinger clubs. We knew it was going to be a long busy tiring week, so we chose the one that seemed a bit more sedate and upscale. We packed our safe sex kit, club clothes and the BYOB bottles. We proceeded out the hotel door, the nice uniformed attendant waived his arms a bit, a cab drove up and we got in. Thankfully, this club has a weekend temporary membership for visitors, so we entered the lobby, signed the usual paperwork, paid the lovely lady behind the desk and went in. We were told Fridays were usually pretty quiet, and sure enough, there were only about 15 to 20 couples in a club designed to hold at least four or five times that number. We enjoyed the bar and the people. We wound up spending most of the evening with two other couples playing pool, flirting, dancing, casually touching, etc. It turns out these two couples play exclusively with each other and as the evening wore on, they went off and played. Since it was late, and most of the other folks had already hooked up and/or left, so we finished our drinks, called a cab and went back to the hotel.

Saturday night, we went to dinner with a couple with who had been communicating online. We had arranged lose plans to get together sometime Saturday evening and as Saturday approached, plans firmed up. They came by the hotel, picked us up and we went to a local restaurant. We had drinks, dinner, wonderful conversation made new friends. It turned out they had family commitments the next day and needed to make a fairly early evening of it. They brought us back to the hotel, we hugged and kissed goodnight and they went on their way. Mrs. Duncan and I enjoyed the local nightlife for a few more hours at a couple of bars and then went back to our hotel room.

You may be thinking to yourself ‘… but where was the swinger fun?  Where was the sex?’ The swinger fun came in with the flirty touchy sexy dress up (it was naughty nighty night) fun time at the club and the wonderful open conversation with a swinger couple at dinner. The conversation ranged from kids to politics to Desire to clubs to fun phrases for gang bangs (our club calls them ‘the multiple male experience’) to what we tell our families when we go out to ‘so how did you get into the lifestyle’ to almost anything. These may lead to more adventures in the future, but the fun we had will more than do for now. We are not really play right away kind of folks anyway as we prefer to get to know people we swing with for a while before playing. Since we were only going to be in town for a short time, we were open to playing if the situation felt right, but we just never got there. The sex? Well, energized from the club Friday and the great dinner with the other couple Saturday, Mrs. Duncan and I had great sex back at the hotel both nights.

Like anyone who enjoys a hobby, we cannot always get out and fully participate. Life, the universe and everything (kids, work, family, friends, …) come first. It is nice to know, however, we can enjoy what we can where we can when we can. No, we didn't have mad sex with anyone but each other this weekend, but we did have wonderful, fun, energizing sexy times with lifestyle folks. The glass was very much more than half full.


Duncan lives with his wife the lovely Mrs. Duncan, 2.03 children, their dog and 2 cars in suburban southern New England. Distressingly vanilla on the outside and surprisingly spumoni underneath, the Duncan's are fairly new to the lifestyle and kinksters to boot. They are enjoying all the experiences and discoveries this adventure has to offer. Sharing his thoughts here, Duncan hopes to promote others' personal exploration by sharing his. Writing also helps process the experiences and acts as a personal pensive.


  1. Another great article. It is very comforting to find a mindset so close to my own. Like Robinson Caruso finding footprints in the sand. I hope to see you at the an upcoming Insatiable.

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