Real Swinger Stories: Why We Chose The Swing Lifestyle

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Real Swinger Stories: Why We Chose The Swing LifestyleIt’s been really interesting for me to see the types of search terms that people are using to find our website, and one of the most popular ones recently was “why swing lifestyle.” So I want to write about some of the reasons why my wife and I decided to explore the swinger lifestyle.

Why did we decide to become swingers? It was not a decision we took lightly. We did a lot of research (we are geeky that way) and talked about it a lot, and as I think back on what we’ve learned from our time in the swing lifestyle, I think there are several reasons why being swingers was right for us:

  1. I have a bisexual wife. My wife is bisexual, and I wanted to support her in exploring that. It seems to me that it’s not fair for a bisexual spouse to not get to express the full spectrum of their sexuality. If you want to have sex with men and women, you should be able to do that. It doesn’t have to be a threat to the marriage, it doesn’t have to cause jealousy or hard feelings or other problems. My wife loves to take cock and eat pussy, and she shouldn’t have to choose one of the other. (I am a really awesome husband, apparently. Of course, I do get some side benefits from being so supportive of my bisexual wife. *salacious grin*)
  2. I have a very high sex drive. More than most other men in their mid-30s, I am very interested in sex and motivated by sex. I am a slut, after all. I have a hunger for experience.
  3. We’re fun loving people. You know those people who seem to be genuinely fulfilled by working in a cubicle at a boring office job, saving money for retirement, and taking out the garbage every week, who don’t seem to have any deeper passion or sense of adventure in life? Yeah, we’re not like that. We like to meet new people. We like to drink and carouse and party. We want to experience all the fun and pleasure that life has to offer.
  4. We have no moral objections to being swingers. We both did a lot of reading and research about the swinger lifestyle, and talked about it as a couple (for a few years off and on, before we ever had our first time swinger experience). We came to realize that even though being swingers might have sounded strange or “weird” or “wrong” at first, we ultimately had no moral objections to it. We are both sexual beings in our own right. We both have had sex with other partners before we got married. We don’t have any religious beliefs that forbid non-monogamy. We are ethical and honest and open with each other. So why not be swingers? No big deal.
  5. We like to share fun adventures as a couple. It’s so much fun to have group sex as a couple! I love to watch my wife eating pussy. I love talking with my wife after we’ve had couple swapping group sex – talking about what we enjoyed, what was so hot about it, which aspects of our other lovers we enjoyed most. It sounds strange, but having sex with other people is a great way to strengthen your bond as a couple.
  6. We want each other to feel more pleasure. I’m a big believer in the polyamorous concept of “compersion” – vicarious pleasure and happiness felt on behalf of your partner. When my wife is happy, I’m happy. When my wife has an orgasm, that makes me feel good too – whether or not I’m the one giving her the orgasm. I don’t believe that all of my wife’s pleasure in life has to come from me – who could possibly expect that? It’s not reasonable or realistic to expect that your wife has to get ALL of her pleasure and fulfillment from one single partner.
  7. Self-discovery. We’ve learned a lot about ourselves from exploring the swinger lifestyle. We’ve gotten to find fulfillment and validation and new ways of knowing people; we’ve gotten to connect with other people who complement certain aspects of our own personalities, we’ve gotten to explore our own personas as sexual beings. Every first kiss is part of a path to self-discovery.
  8. We want to seize the day. Life can be fragile and uncertain. There are no guarantees. If there’s something you want to experience in life, you need to go after it. We want to enjoy our youth and our healthy bodies and explore our sexuality while we still can!

There are many good reasons to be swingers. If the swinger lifestyle is interesting to you, if you have a strong relationship and you trust each other and you know how to communicate about your feelings, then becoming swingers might be right for you.

Originally posted on Swing Lifestyle Blog

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Harukifan is the pen name of a happily married, ethically non-monogamous man. He writes about sex, relationships, swinging and polyamory at http://swinglifestyleblog.wordpress.com/

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