What A Long Strange Trip It’s Been – Swinger Beginnings

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What A Long Strange Trip It's Been - Swinger BeginningsHow on earth did we get here?

I am awake and energized, awash with endorphins and a wonderful content grin- as one occasionally gets after great sex. Mrs. Duncan is cuddled up next to me sleeping, awash with endorphins and a wonderful content grin- as one frequently gets after great sex. We just had great sex. It was that awesome, reconnecting, intimate, fantastic love making we enjoy after a fun night of sexy playing at our favorite club (or house party or play date). Yup, we are swingers. We are also a bit kinky enjoying DS and pain play.

But wait a minute; we are also a couple of middle aged, middle class, middle of the road pillar of the community types. We have a couple of grown children, a house and 2 cars in a small New England town still influenced by its Puritan and farming past. I have an upper middle management job in IT and Mrs. Duncan is a healthcare professional in private practice. We have both been involved in our community as youth group leaders, leaders in our religious institutions, town government, etc. We have strong family ties as dutiful spouses, parents, siblings and children. We are the epitome of trustworthy, loyal, helpful, … Our lives have been and continue to be, in most respects, about as vanilla as it gets (and for anyone concerned that I might be using ‘vanilla’ as a pejorative, I consider vanilla to be an excellent flavor).

How on earth did we get here?

It really started with the pain thing. Mrs. Duncan, even in our college years, enjoyed a bit of pain play with a side of submission. She enjoyed a good spanking, being held down, blindfolded, etc. I enjoyed Mrs. Duncan and was happy to please her. I really get off on her getting off and on the added intensity it brings to our lovemaking. We dabbled a bit from time to time, but it was not a huge component of our sex. The children came into our lives and this seemed to tone things down both due to the little ears running around and the sheer exhaustion of being parents to two boys with all of their activities. Quiet ORE (old relationship energy) comfort sex was our main course.

Once the kids grew, we could do weekend trips on our own. The next phase of our adventure came on one of these weekends at a resort casino in what is still largely farm country. We decided to pay a visit to a farm supply and tack shop (a place where horse and riding gear is sold) and picked up a couple of riding crops. Riding crops are fun. We enjoyed them that night and occasionally for the next couple of years when time and privacy permitted. Whenever we would travel for a weekend getaway, they were also always in our bag. Mrs. Duncan also started checking online BDSM sites and occasionally shared anything particularly good she found with me.

Fast forward to the summer of 2011. We took a trip to Atlantic City for a long weekend. The hotel had a tourist booklet that listed all the clubs and in there was an adult swing club with a dungeon. We had never gone to anything like that or taken our play outside of our bedroom. The possibility was intriguing. After much discussion, we let the opportunity pass us by and spent much of the 5 hour ride home discussing and regretting that no-decision decision. My curiosity was piqued and I started looking online for local clubs and parties. Somewhere in there I found SLS along with the Swingset, Boris and Doris and Swapfu podcasts.

Our first party was a roving house party where Mrs. Duncan found a kindred spirit in a woman who also liked playing with riding crops. They played a bit and both Mrs. Duncan and I found the experience extremely arousing. We fed off the energy of that for days.

We then went to a club that had extensive dungeon equipment for one of their weekly Saturday parties. When we asked the manager why nobody was using the stuff, we were told that Saturdays were swing nights with only occasional kink play depending upon who was there. If we were looking for mainly kink play, we needed to come to the Friday parties. We signed up for both. The Friday and Saturday crowds are largely separate and the parties themselves are completely different. However, we found over time we enjoy both. We privately played with the dungeon equipment on Fridays after socializing with the wonderful community there. After many months, we were comfortable enough to play with select others, but this is mainly kink play. Oddly to us, the kink play often ends with just that. We always need to find one of the play rooms after getting all worked up on the cross, spanking bench or wall hard points. We also enjoy the Saturday swing parties. I must confess that I took the lead on that. After many months of enjoying the social atmosphere and private play, we started a bit of soft swapping with a couple of couples with whom we became friendly. Months after that, we engaged in our first full swap experience and never looked back.

From there, we have attended other house parties and enjoyed them. We have filled our BDSM toy bag with all kinds of fun. Most of this was after instruction and demonstration from the group of friends we have made at the Friday parties. We have attended the New England Leather Alliance (NELA) Fetish Flea Fests in New Hampshire and Rhode Island and leaned a lot at the sessions there. We also enjoy the vendors at these events with their selection of toys. We are now also NELA and New England Dungeon Society members. Through the Swingset ads, we found Kasidie and made friends there leading to our first couples dates and play sessions.

So, we are now part of two exciting related but separate lifestyle type communities. We love all aspects of this new adventure and the richness it is adding to our relationship (both intentionally and unintentionally) along many vectors. More on all of this later…

… the energy is wearing off and Mrs. Duncan just rolled over. Time to spoon and snooze.

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Duncan lives with his wife the lovely Mrs. Duncan, 2.03 children, their dog and 2 cars in suburban southern New England. Distressingly vanilla on the outside and surprisingly spumoni underneath, the Duncan's are fairly new to the lifestyle and kinksters to boot. They are enjoying all the experiences and discoveries this adventure has to offer. Sharing his thoughts here, Duncan hopes to promote others' personal exploration by sharing his. Writing also helps process the experiences and acts as a personal pensive.

2 Comments

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    Great post! We also started off in the DS world, and evolved into full swap. Find us on Kasidie under DoubleTime!

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