Zoe Attends to Vespertine (A Women’s BDSM Play Party)

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Humiliation in BDSM and KinkMy name is Zoe Hanis and this is the continuing story of my first BDSM play party.

Over Memorial Day weekend, the Chicago area gets extremely busy for the sex positive crowd: both Shibaricon and International Mister Leather (IML) hold weekend long conventions and Vespertine (a Women's BDSM Play Party) is held.

Vespertine began in 2006 as an event that fulfilled a need. Apparently while women and transgendered folk attend IML, only boys were allowed to play. This was unacceptable to Daddy Sky Cotton, who decided to throw an annual play party where women and transfolk could engage in and learn about BDSM in a safe and consensual environment.

Having never been exposed to BDSM in a comfortable and opening fashion, I had had some very strange notions regarding it. But being around Daddy Sky, the Ladies of House Vespertine (Demonstrators) and Sunny Megatron had opened my eyes and my mind to the infinite possibilities.

Armed with this change in philosophy, I decided that I wanted to see what exactly this BDSM stuff was all about. I watched three demonstrations throughout the evening. They were fascinating. Hanging on the Demonstrator's words, watching their every action, I went deeper down the rabbit hole.

The first demo of the evening was a “vacuum bed.” It was made up of two layers of latex that zip together stretched over a rectangular frame of PVC pipe (think a horizontal Cassandra from Doctor Who [except the frame is inside the latex]). A subject is zipped between the layers of latex and given a straw to breathe through (much like snorkeling). Then in stages, all the air is sucked out from in between the layers of latex with a vacuum. The subject is then completely encased (and looks much like Han Solo in Carbonite) and cannot move much. Once the subject is restrained in this manner, the Demonstrators were able to tease her with sensations such as fingers, finger nails, and vibrations.

<aside> That paragraph sounded nearly as geeky as Cooper’s usually parenthetical phrases</aside>

I would someday like to try being in a vacuum bed. It gave me the impression of being safe and cozy almost like being back in the womb. But that may be down the road a bit as it seems as if it would require complete trust in another, something that I usually lack.

The second demonstration I watched was “wet fire cupping.” The subject laid on her front on a padded table. The Demonstrator made a small quick incision with a tiny hammer looking tool containing a blade. Then she would set fire to an isopropyl alcohol soaked cotton ball on the end of a hemostat and insert the fire in a glass bulb creating suction. Placing the opening of the bulb on the subject’s back over the incision, blood and skin are drawn up into the glass.

The Demonstrator repeated this process 8-10 times until all the bulbs were used and the subject had 2 columns of glasses down her back; one column on each side of her spine. The Demonstrator placed a towel over the glasses on the subject’s back to keep the heat in for a good 5-10 minutes before removing the cups.

Somehow I missed seeing the Demonstrator remove the cups. However, I assume that she simply pressed the skin around the cup to break the suction as my internet research suggests. The cups left pink circles on the subject’s skin, but when asked if they hurt, she said that they did not.

While the subject looked quite blissful during the entire process, I do not think I would really want to try wet fire cupping. While it did not squig me, it did not appeal to me either.

The last demo was using the Violet Wand and Fire Play. I have seen a Neon Wand (the home version) before (Cooper has one), but I have never seen him use it this extensively nor in conjunction with fire. And I had never seen fire play before.

The Violet Wand is a “toy” that is used in electric play that creates a shock like sensation.

While I don’t particularly care for being shocked, I would be willing to try it with the fire play.

As the subject was lying on her back on a padded table, the Demonstrator would take a hemostat containing an isopropyl alcohol soaked cotton ball and lightly draw a pattern or figure on the her skin.  Once the figure was drawn, the Demonstrator would hold the Violet Wand close enough so that the spark that it emits would set the liquid afire. She would almost immediately blow out the flames so that the skin did not burn. Then repeat the pattern of ignite and extinguish until all of the isopropyl alcohol was gone; before drawing another picture on another area of the subject. Though the Demonstrator primarily stayed in the stomach region.

In the dimly lit room, watching the fire leap to life and dance across the subject’s stomach was intoxicating. I would have given just about anything to have the fire kiss my skin like that. That is definitely something on my list of things I must try.

But it wasn’t going to be tonight. There were other things that I wanted to do and have done to me.

Now that I had embraced the truth that BDSM play was about what I wanted; that it had nothing to do with forcing away my control, I wanted to play.

All evening, I had been asking numerous questions of one of the Ladies of the House, an absolutely beautiful redhead; so it seemed only natural to ask her to help me figure out what felt good. We decided to try basic flogging from both ends: giving and receiving.

I had her tie me up to a St. Andrew’s Cross. I thought that standing would be better. Plus, if I am going to be brutally honest, it has been one of those shameful desires for as long as I can remember. The cross was in front of a full length mirror. This way she could see my reactions and if I shifted enough, I could watch her movements.

It was… interesting. I am not sure what I had expected, but she didn’t simply whale on me. There was a buildup, almost tenderness about it. We discovered that I preferred more of a thudding sensation to a stinging one. She used a flogger on my upper back and ass and later her palm for spanking. Whole hand spanking was really quite erotic. I found it interesting how she would stop occasionally and rub the skin, asking me quietly how I was doing. She also asked for directions in terms of harder/softer and (upper) back or ass.

During this “scene,” I not only felt myself getting wet, I began to feel the beginning sensations of filling up with liquid. I briefly wondered if it was possible to squirt from flogging and/or spanking and resolved to ask Cooper at a later time (In case you are interested, his answer was yes).

Afterwards, I wondered why this experience was so different than the previous one. In talking to friends, one said perhaps it was because I was with a female partner; another suggested that I felt safer. And while I think those are both valid reasons, I think the main reason had to do with my own headspace. She may have been doing the flogging or spanking, but I was still in control. Even tied up on the cross, I was in control. We were doing this for me to feel good; not because someone else wanted to beat me or because I felt badly about something, but simply because the sensations felt good.

After our scene was done, my redheaded Lady of the House enlisted the help of another Demonstrator to help show me how to flog while she was bent over a spanking bench. It was interesting to be on the other end. I tried very hard to follow directions as I didn’t want to hurt her (in ways that would be detrimental). I think I will need to invest in a decent flogger so that I can practice.

I have learned. I have grown. And I realize that there is so much more that I want to know and experience. The world is no longer a big and scary place, but chock full of possibilities. And I desperately hope I get an invite to Vespertine again next year!

 

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Zoe first described herself as "bad at monogamy" until about five years ago when she and her husband discovered the term that actually described her: polyamorous. Since then they have opened their family to other partners. Zoe is currently juggling relationships with her husband, their two kids, her husband's girlfriend, and a slew of friends/loves that she calls her tribal poly family. She can be reached on facebook or on twitter @ZoeHanis

4 Comments

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    What lovely erotic descriptions, thank you so much. I never heard of Vespertine before reading this post, so since my specialty is aftercare, specifically for females & trans, methinks I may have to try to come out one year soon! 😉

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