Mr. D and I recently boarded a jet plane to spend a weekend in one of our favorite cities. We love spending a weekend eating good food, listening to live music, and attending one of our favorite swinger’s club in the United States. We have developed a friendship with a lifestyle couple in this town. I look forward to the opportunity to see this couple and especially the guy. I have amazing chemistry with the guy. He is an airline pilot and I have a fantasy of him having a layover somewhere near my town. I am waiting for him in a hotel room in lingerie with a bottle of champagne chilling by the door…..
But I digress. As we were chatting naked after some hot sex this weekend, I mentioned the difficulties of DP (discussed in the previous blog). He said that he had tried it once with another couple. His wife does not like anal sex so it’s not a discussion in their swinging habits.
It got me to thinking about anal sex. I never liked it either, until about a year ago. Now it is lots of fun. I found that it just took practice. Just like learning how to orgasm for the first time took practice. And discovering the multiple orgasm too practice. And squirting took practice. All of these things I at first worried I couldn’t do at all. And now I do them all quite well.
I think women need to know that they can learn new tricks in the bedroom. They just need to work on them. I am of the belief that all women can learn all of these things with enough practice. What is hard is that, at least for me, I needed to figure each of these things out myself to even know what I was searching for. Once I achieved the task once, I knew how to signal my body. But the mind-body connection with women and sex is a funny thing. We have to learn how to train our bodies to get the most out of sex. It’s like we aren’t sure what target we are aiming for. Once we hit the target, then we can fine tune the experience. But until then we are unsure what to do.
Part of the dilemma is that each experience is different and most are a bit paradoxical. When I first sought to learn how to have an orgasm years ago, I thought it must be about penetration. It was only when learned that penetration for me has little to do with it—instead it is almost entirely about clitoral stimulation—did I fully learn to explode.
I didn’t learn any of other fancy tricks for almost 20 years. In fact it wasn’t until we became “full swap” that I discovered multiple orgasms that I thought would forever elude me. Mr. D. is very well endowed—so much so that intercourse bypasses the G-spot almost entirely. I needed other cocks to hit the G-spot just right to understand how to continue doing backflips for an extended period of time. Now that I know how to find it and how it feels, I can find that spot with Mr. D.
As with anal sex, it is quite the opposite of intercourse. Whereas orgasms with intercourse are more intense the tenser I become, anal sex requires relaxing deeper and deeper for the process to move from painful to enjoyable to incredible. Practice makes perfect though.
I am wishing that my lifestyle friend in my favorite city takes the risk to experiment a bit more with the backdoor. Some deep breaths and relaxation could help a great deal.