The Search for the Elusive Male Unicorn or Trying to find a Bi Guy is Damn Hard


The Search for the Elusive Male Unicorn or Trying to find a Bi Guy is Damn HardMy name is Zoe Hanis and I have been called a unicorn. Though I am married, I have been swinging as a single playing with couples.

A bit ago, Guy told me of a fantasy he has had; to be fucked while fucking someone else. The idea of watching him play with another guy gets my juices flowing. The idea of participating with them…oh my!

So I set about to make this happen. Guy has experience in vetting couples for him and his wife to swing with, but none in finding a single man. Plus he is extraordinarily busy, so was happy to leave the search up to me. It can’t be that difficult to find a bi-guy that would be willing to play with us, right?

I started with the want ads: craigslist. There one can usually find whatever it is one needs. Just this last summer, we found a keyboard for my daughter fairly cheap. So I started reading the casual encounters “m4wm”, but couldn’t find anything that sounded like what we were looking for. We were not looking for “will fuck your wife while you watch” or someone young enough to be my kid (I am 10 years older than Guy). So I set about to write my own ad.

Couple looking for sane bi-guy to play with – mw4m

We are looking to play with a bi or bi-curious guy. My guy is interested  in participating in something similar to the picture. [I inserted a picture off of the internet]
We are both health conscious and have been completely tested within the last two months and prefer partners that have been recently (last 6 months) tested. Barriers (such as condoms, dental dams, gloves for internal) are an absolute must.
Also this might be easier if you were listed on or as we have profiles on each. If you are on either site, please let me know your alias.

In less than an hour, I had 5 offers and my posting was flagged for removal.

Removal?!  What in the world was wrong with my posting? Craigslist was nice enough to direct me to their list of common reasons for posting removal. I did not miscategorize, solicit illegal activity, mislead, overpost, spam, use personal information, scalp tickets… oh porn. Right the picture I used could definitely be considered porn.

So why is it that the classifieds are full of men posting pictures of their erect cocks or of said cock deep inside a wet pussy, but a picture with three people fucking is taboo.  /deep sigh

Ah well, let’s take a look at my five offers. Three of the four sent pictures of their cocks. I suppose that when applying for a job, it is important to put your best attributes on display. Though those were the last three that I talked to. The first applicant was 19, which was an immediate veto. The second raised a red flag when being caught lying about something as simple as his age.  Two were cheating on the wife and the fifth never responded to my reply. So ends my trial of posting on craigslist.

Since then I have answered a couple of ads (m4mw) in the hope that maybe, just maybe there is a sane honest bi-guy willing to play with us. Though somehow I don’t think I will find the illusive male unicorn on craigslist, but hey I can get a tanning bed for $800.


Zoe first described herself as "bad at monogamy" until about five years ago when she and her husband discovered the term that actually described her: polyamorous. Since then they have opened their family to other partners. Zoe is currently juggling relationships with her husband, their two kids, her husband's girlfriend, and a slew of friends/loves that she calls her tribal poly family. She can be reached on facebook or on twitter @ZoeHanis


  1. I have hooked up with several couples, as the bi male 3rd. I did it because a) it was my only viable entree into group sex, and b) it seemed (and was) hot. I do not look quite like the guys in the photo, but the trysts were generally satisfying, if a bit awkward. I fulfilled a guy’s fantasy of getting fucked whilst being in his wife and another time, I was in the wife while sucking off the husband. And of course other nice combinations of bodies and genitalia. . .:-)

    So I think that you will find a guy to do this. It is very tasty to get sucked off by a woman and a man at the same time, I can attest. So keep looking. When I was into this (not anymore) I approached it like it was looking for a job. All of the rejections were just because the couple did not see it as a “fit.”

    The only pitfall was that in one case, a guy got insecure and lost his, um, drive.

  2. You were flagged because you spammed by using websites… not sure how you missed that.. the moment you posted a website (2 in your case), you became viewed as a bot……

  3. I’ve been asked by a lover to find a bi-guy to play with us; I haven’t looked yet… but I definitely wasn’t anticipating any difficulty. I am now! I’ll have to get my game on.

    Love the ending of this post by the way. Great punchline.

  4. There is a distinct prejudice in the swinging ls against bi guys, at least on the surface. If you spend any time browsing the personal adds you will quickly become accustomed to the “NO BI GUY”. Label. Even in totally out of places like. Personal adds from single female drama queens. Err unicorns. And while there is much discussion, mostly bi women, about how hot that would be. It is fallows up with a VERY quick, but my gu would NEVER….

  5. I had a threesome with my boyfriend and a bi guy recently. I once mentioned to my bf that a bi mmf would be hot, so he arranged it for me with an old bi acquaintance of his, also thinking it might be hot.

    But my bf is not actually bi (although he had had a couple of experiences with guys before, been given bjs) and when our bi guy gave him a bj he lost his erection — I really don’t know why. Maybe because I was watching and my bf was embarrassed and/or scared that I might think he likes it too much and he’s gay or sth?… Dunno. Anyway, it was very nice of him, trying to give me what I wanted, but it didn’t quite work in reality.

    And the worst part was that my bf got extremely jealous during the threesome and couldn’t function properly because he’s crazy in love with me. He had a very hard time for many days getting over it afterwards. We almost broke up because of the damn threesome, it was a big mistake from his part, almost ruined a perfect sexual and emotional relationship.

    My bf had had plenty of straight mmf threesomes before we got involved, but never with a woman he actually loved and who was his gf. He was very cool about casual group sex and he thought he’d still be cool if he had a threesome involving me and a bi. Well, he wasn’t cool, not by far. He didn’t see those emotional/sexual complications coming, he freaked out, he felt ridiculed, and I’m quite sure this will be our last mmf threesome together! :DD

  6. Derek Wilson on

    I have found the opposite to be true. I have been bicurious for many years but finding a real couple to explore with is impossible. I am attractive, in very good shape but can’t seem to find any couples or even females into bicurious guys.

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