Polyamorous Zoe Plays Well With Swingers – Her First Swinger Party Continues

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sexy-tongue-lickMy name is Zoe Hanis and I am … confused.

A couple of weeks ago I was polyamorous, able to have multiple loving relationships – my husband, my out-of-state boyfriend, my “new guy” boyfriend.  Everything was compartmentalized and simple.  It all made sense.  Sex meant something; maybe not love like the monogamous society claims, but a deeper connection never-the-less.  It wasn’t casual play.

Now I am a swinger or at least I got to play on the swingset for a night at my first swinger party.  And it was … amazing.  Well, that is to say,  it became amazing.  While the social room had challenged my preconceived notions, the playroom would further broaden my horizons.

After gathering my courage, I crept downstairs; my heart pounding, my fingernails digging into the palms of my hands; turned the corner and saw a bunch of people fully clothed sitting around talking. All so freaking NORMAL; normal except for the table laid out with a spread of sex toys of all shapes and sizes along with a large pile of towels and condoms, but Guy had shown me that anyway and we had played “show and tell” with most of them on a previous date. But this was normal party behavior; my apprehensions, my fears, the knot in my stomach were driving me nuts for nothing. I needed to relax and any more wine and I would be closer to intoxicated than would be good for me.  Liquid courage is something that usually comes with negative side effects be they as simple as a hangover or as complex with having to process and work through regrets.

Guy was there and encouraging, but I was not about to demand his attention.  When his co-host came up and started talking, I realized that he was actually interested in me. Perhaps he was just being the good host or wanting everyone to be comfortable, but I went with it and took Guy’s suggestion about having his co-host give me a massage.

Wow.  I have heard people boast that they are good at massages but I swear this one has magic fingers. Magic fingers that began to drain the nervousness and tension right out of my body; or would have if the lace on my fancy new shirt wasn’t rubbing into my skin. That had to be rectified. My shirt came off with little thought.  I am not modest and finding myself face down on a bed in the public play area sans shirt, seemed about as natural (and necessary) to me as nursing my daughter while walking the aisles of Sam’s Club. I would like to interject here that I was not the only one in a state of semi-undress but if I recall correctly (which I may well not), I was.

Closing my eyes, I let his fingers wander my back and shoulders. He was using an oil that smelled nice and made his fingers glide over my skin. We visited while my body turned into butter. At some point he asked if he could remove my bra.  And at some point he kissed me.

I love kissing.  With some people, it is something that I could do all day. The softness of their lips; the entanglement of tongues; the nibbling on another’s bottom lip; the stealing of another’s life breath; umm… well, anyway you get the idea, I love kissing. Moving on…

Another set of hands and a new voice jarred me from my bliss.  It took a bit to settle into this new mode with the new hands on my back and Magic fingers working slowly down my legs. I was just about back to comfort when New hands left. I briefly wondered if I had done something wrong or perhaps not done something that I was supposed to. But the thought to ask was a fleeting one as I was past relaxed and into damn horny. There was a time when Magic fingers ended up between my legs and I found out that his tongue was nice not only in my mouth. While receiving oral sex within a couple of hours of meeting someone is not new to me, receiving it in a room full of people and being distracted by a woman playing with others within three feet of me was definitely bizarre.

She was loud.  A room full of people in all states of undress and sex acts, and for some reason, that is what I fixated on.  Her unabashed vocalizing of sheer pleasure was wonderful.  I wanted to reach out and kiss her; to hold her and cuddle her and tell her that there was more; my every instinct screamed to calm her cries.  But I held back, mostly because I had no idea how such attention would  received. So I simply observed.  The line from When Harry Met Sally went through my mind, “I’ll have what she’s having.”  And throughout the night, I did over and over and over again.

I remember Guy coming over at one point, leaning down and kissing me; checking to make sure that I was ok.  It was sweet and protective and brought joy to my heart. Several times throughout the evening that he would find me; to kiss me, caress me or get me a drink. I knew he was there and strangely enough it gave me the sense that all of this was ok.

There was a point where Magic fingers and I did give up the bed. I plopped down on a floor mat. I was not ready to get dressed but not really sure what else to do.  Magic Fingers sat by me and we nuzzled and cuddled a bit.  I was thinking that he might want to go off and play with someone else, but we had spoken earlier about his time being spent with whom he was interested in and for the moment, that seemed to be me.

Another couple was on the floor mat as well. We had chatted a bit in the social room when they first arrived but not since I had come downstairs. When I had plopped down next to them, I had left a defined space between us. At least I thought I did.  I was surprised when his fingers appeared on my inner thigh finding their way up into me. It seemed weird that without so much as a by-your-leave, I was being enfolded into their play. Not weird enough to stop them, but weird enough to give me pause as I retell this story.

He smelled wonderful. I don’t know if it was a simply a cologne or some sort of pheromone, but hot damn. It was the kind of smell that stays with you; clings to your skin and later any hint of that fragrance floods your body with yearning and desire.   He tended to play rougher, more forceful, more demanding. Not that this was a problem, but I did feel my sub tendencies arise. Since this wasn’t a BDSM party, I felt that I would not be in a position where I needed to worry. BDSM and I have an interesting relationship, but that is a topic for another posting.  Suffice it to say I can only do scenes with those with whom I have had extensive conversations and in whom I trust implicitly.

I played with the couple on and off throughout the evening.  Partly, because he seemed to specifically be seeking me out (which was a huge boost to my ego) and partly because damn, he smelled good.

There was a point where I was riding and sucking on two cocks at the same time.  It was … magnificent.  It was probably the only time that I can remember, being able to divide my attention enough to deep-throat and still feel relaxed enough to allow the orgasm to overwhelm me.  And I gushed, leaking fluid all over, completely drenching the mat.

All told I ended up having actual intercourse with three people, but touching and kissing more than that.  I would have gone longer, one of the problems of being what a previous boyfriend called “insatiable” but time waits for no one, and the evening was late or the morning was very early, depending upon one's point of view.

So now I am more  confused than ever and have spent the day dealing with the fallout and consequences from last night. I think that maybe, just maybe, I am finally beginning to understand swinging.

There is; however, one thing of which I am certain,  I am willing to fully allow Guy into my life, my family and my heart.

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About Author

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Zoe first described herself as "bad at monogamy" until about five years ago when she and her husband discovered the term that actually described her: polyamorous. Since then they have opened their family to other partners. Zoe is currently juggling relationships with her husband, their two kids, her husband's girlfriend, and a slew of friends/loves that she calls her tribal poly family. She can be reached on facebook or on twitter @ZoeHanis

4 Comments

  1. Avatar

    It’s amazing how one new experience can sometimes completely shift your life paradigm or start you down a curious beastly path that you could never have anticipated.

    Although maybe you were never exactly polyamorous to begin with. This new confusion still falls under your original self-description: bad at monogamy 🙂

  2. Avatar

    This is a super fantastic blog and I am glad that were not alone. We too are exploring this new world. Your vanilla life will never be the same.

    Save it up for the weekend and let it rip!

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