Let me preface this post by saying that most likely this will end as little more than a rant. I do not necessarily like to go off on rants but . . . Ok maybe I do. Now that we have that disclaimer out-of-the-way, I would like to discuss a situation that Ally and I have encounter entirely too often. Most often, when dealing with vanilla males.
For those of you who have not been fortunate enough to meet my beautiful wife Ally, she has a dangerous intellect, a goofy sense of humor, and a compassionate soul. Ally is also gorgeous, breathtaking to behold. She is graceful in her movements and sublime in her form. She is like sex in the flesh. I am way out of my league and I have no idea why she wastes her time with the likes of me (but do not tell her that, cause I have a good thing going here ok). I can fully understand why men and women alike are ready to drop to their knees and beg for the opportunity to so much as kiss her foot the moment she enters the room. I get that. What I do not and cannot understand is why anyone would think that it is perfectly acceptable to proposition my wife like a drunken frat boy, or even worse grope/molest her on a whim. It is almost as though they feel that since she is sexually liberated and in an open relationship that she is some kind of a toy that just anyone can play with! They are very wrong indeed. What ever happened to respect?! I mean, has this approach ever worked for these knuckleheads? More often than not it is vanilla males that exhibit this behavior. Small-minded and ignorant.
Ally is a big girl and can handle herself just fine, but I am chivalrous and feel the need to defend her honour, which leaves us in awkward situations that quite frankly stem from ignorance and usually end with my agro side boiling over and me towering over the uncultured douche-bag speaking very serious words in a low, yet no bullshit tone. It is not ok to treat any and every sexually liberated goddess like she is some piece of meat. That lack of respect will not be tolerated, and that approach will never work for a woman the caliber of Ally.
Let me also say that we have never encountered anyone in the Lifestyle that makes these uncouth assumptions. It would seem that those men involved in open relationships have a much better understanding of what is acceptable and what is not. Women as well seem to be able to keep themselves in check around her. It is just those silly little vanilla boys that cannot wrap their tiny little minds around the reality of the situation.
The worst part for them is, if they would have conducted themselves like a gentleman, made polite conversation, and were attractive to Ally in one way or another, she might have fucked them. Not now. As soon as disrespect is shown to her, she is done with them. You see, Ally can pick and choose almost anyone for her sexual partners. These guys do not stand a chance.
I do not mean to paint with a wide brush, and I understand that I used some derogatory terms and words, but it pisses me off when my wife is disrespected. She is the most important person in my world, I love and respect her, and I demand that she is treated with dignity and respect. I would appreciate it if we all remember that moving forward.
Hear, hear, from a non-vanilla male.
When I first started being more open about my sexuality, of course, I was only among vanilla people. (It would be years before I started exploring kink as a lifestyle, swinging, etc.) Vanilla men who had respected me as an intellectual equal (or, yes, even as their intellectual superior) and as a person suddenly thought that hitting on me in such crude manners was A-okay. Nowadays, I would cheerfully smack them down, but back then, it was just startling and hurtful to go from being a human to being a piece of meat, just because OMG I like to use my girlie bits!
My scope is still limited, but yes, it is interesting that the kink-aware and swinging men can know intimate details about what I do/like and still greet me respectfully, while a vanilla man who finds out that I have the option to have sex with someone other than my husband is all, “Yeah, baby, you know you want me.”