MA 93: Being Secondary While Putting Yourself First – Multiamory

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At Multiamory, we generally discourage people from building their relationships on a basis of strict, primary-secondary hierarchy. However, primary-secondary relationships are still very common in the polyamorous community. All three of us have engaged in these kind of relationships at one point or another, for better or worse. In this episode, we talk about the experience of being a secondary partner, and we give our advice to secondaries for crafting relationships that will keep them safe, happy, and sane.


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Multiamory is the place for you to find new ideas and out-of-the-box thinking about relationships. Our insights come from lots of research and years of personal experience with polyamory, but the information found here is useful for people in any type of relationship. Whether you are poly, considering diving into it, or just looking to have better monogamous relationships, our tips and ideas will help you to have the healthiest, happiest, and sexiest life possible.