Review: Vibrating Erotic Symphony Beads

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For a while, at the beginning of this website, there were new anal toy reviews from me pretty consistently, and I became known around the staff as the guy who’ll review the anal stuff.

I don’t mind this.

But it’s been a while since I’ve had anything new to play with, so I was very happy when The Adult Toy Shoppe sent over a set of Vibrating Erotic Symphony Anal Beads by Cal Exotic. I’ve had vibrating toys in the past, but never vibrating beads, so I looked forward to seeing what this would be all about.

When I opened the box and took out the beads, they were soft, and somewhat graduated, but a design flaw struck me pretty much instantly, the vibrator is in the largest bead on the end, yet instead of connecting the wire to that bead, the wire connects in the middle of the strand, leaving you to choose which end you’d like to insert.

I suppose that was done so you could insert the larger end in instead of the smaller, but by catering to people who aren’t sure if they like big or small, you’ve alienated the people who actually understand the size of toy they’d like in their asses.

Marilyn lubed them up plenty and inserted one, as usual asking me before pushing to the next. By the third I was just saying “Go on, all the way” because the first five beads are exactly the same size, rather than gradually getting bigger. This strand only has three size beads, TWO if you don’t count the huge one on the end encasing the vibrator.

The vibrations are solid settings and can be increased in intensity by a dial. Disappointingly, even with all the beads in on the one end, the vibration was far to dull to write home about. When inserting the other end, since the vibrator is so big, the secondary beads barely register.

All in all, a disappointment, and pretty shoddily made.

Oh well, back to waiting for the ultimate toy to arrive.

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About Author

Cooper S. Beckett is the founder of Life on the Swingset & host of its swinging & polyamory podcast. He speaks and teaches classes on pegging, swinging, polyamory, play parties, and non-monogamy. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino’s radio show Sex Out Loud. He has written two books. My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory & A Life Less Monogamous, and is working on two more, The Big Book of Swinging, and Approaching The Swingularity.

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