Getting Started – Clubs

As I said in my last blog – I am going to look at the most common venues for play in the lifestyle: Clubs (on-premises and off-premises) / Hotel Parties / House Parties / Couple to Couple.  There are other blogs on the website about some parties and venues including Tyler and Holly give swing clubs another chance that give great perspectives.

I am going to start with Clubs.  Remember, as I said in The Playing Rules make sure that you know what you and your partners “rules” are before you get there.

First – there are two types of clubs: on-premises and off-premises.  On-premises means that you are allowed to have sex in the club – probably that there are rooms with beds setup within the club.  There may still be rules about where you are allowed to have sex but it will be happening somewhere.  So the meaning of off-premises is obvious – although it can be a rather gray area.  Some clubs say that they are off-premises but they let their patrons get away with quite a bit.

Most of my experience is with clubs in Virginia, Pennsylvania, Maryland and Washington D.C.  I have visited clubs in Nevada and California but only off-premises clubs.  In Pennsylvania and Maryland, in order to allow on-premises, they had to be Private Clubs, meaning they had to charge members an annual fee for joining.  The fee for most clubs varies for each club.  Generally membership will give you access to the clubs full website, possibly an email for upcoming events and often a Members Night (or two) during the year.  Along with the annual fee there is a fee for the night (or weekend) you attend.  Generally, in our area, the fee scale is:

These prices vary – we’ve seen couple prices from $50 – $90, depending on the night.  Single women (the illusive Unicorn) is always cheapest, probably because they are few and far between and highly desired.  Single men are really the bread and butter of the clubs.  Some clubs do offer Couples Only nights – if there is an over abundance of single guys, a club can really feel like a meat market.

For that fee, most clubs offer full access to the club and food – anything from a full sit down dinner or buffet dinner to hearty hors d’oeuvres.  Clubs in MD, PA, VA are always BYOB but they provide mixers and keep your beer / wine / alcohol behind the counter, tagged just for you.  Frequently clubs also offer overnight accommodations for an additional fee – the play rooms become bedrooms, club staff come in and change the sheets, etc for the overnight guests.  One club that we have been to several times use volunteers for a lot of their helpers and constantly reminds patrons to tip everyone from the bartender to the towel person – frankly, for the price we pay to get in… it is very annoying.

First Visit

• For all the clubs that we know, you have to make a reservation in advance.  They don’t generally require a deposit but you can’t just show up that day.  Some clubs don’t tell you the address until you have made a legitimate reservation, that may include talking to someone on the phone or being verified on their website or through an application process.  You should be discrete about the location of the club and not share it with people.  You wouldn’t want to walk out of a club to find photographers from the local paper, etc. (yes, this has happened)
• Leave your phone in the car. Many clubs prohibit the use of cameras and  that includes cellphones (since most have cameras these days.)
• When you arrive, some clubs have someone in the parking lot with a list of the expected guests and some, the more urban clubs, just have you check in at the door.
• Most clubs have a questionnaire that you must fill out including legal information stating you are not part of the media or law enforcement.  They will also require legal identification, i.e. driver’s license.  This information is kept confidential.
• Many clubs use name tags to help identify people – one club we know of uses Gold name tags for Gold Members, red for newbies, green for returning couples, blue for single people, etc.
• You will be given a tour of the facilities by a host & hostess.  These are generally volunteers, they are there to makes sure you know the rules of the club, i.e. closed door rooms / open door rooms / No means No / etc.  and they should also be able to answer any questions.

The lay of the land, so to speak – most clubs have a bar, dance floor, secure stripper pole, pool tables, X-rated movie watching area, and somewhere to sit and eat.  Many clubs also have a hot tub, either indoors or close by.  Some clubs also have a swimming pool, BBQ pit, deck or patio, etc. for summer time parties.   There are also generally full bathrooms for both men and women, including showers and, occasionally, a bidet.

General Information

• Some clubs do not allow “play” and/or nudity in the main area, i.e. bar, dance floor, dining area.  We know one club that lightens the rules for occasional parties.
• What to wear? Chances are, you are coming from home and probably don’t want to wear “club” attire – i.e. something too revealing, etc. until you get there.  Most clubs have lockers available, some will rent a padlock for the night and most will let you bring your own.  In all honesty, I have rarely “locked up” my bag and I’ve never heard of anyone having anything taken.
  • Ladies: Plan to Dress to Impress – this is when you bring out the “ladies” and show off your best features.  Cleavage, short skirts, high heels, stockings are the name of the game at many clubs.  Again, check and see if there is a theme – it sometimes helps with the outfits.
  • Men: You should plan to Dress to Impress – you don’t have to be in a coat and tie but nice slacks and a nice shirt gets you attention.
  • Many clubs do not allow torn jeans, t-shirts, flip flops, etc.  They want a party / club atmosphere – not a local bar scene.  The exception might be a theme night but people still dress to get attention!
• What to bring?
  • Clubs with pools / hot tubs generally provide towels but not all of them do, so double check with the club.
  • Lubricant, toys, etc. – this isn’t necessarily the place to bring your Industrial-level toys but if you enjoy toys and such, bring a couple along.
  • Personal hygiene items – most clubs have mouthwash, baby wipes (which work just fine as personal wipes), washcloths, etc. in the bathrooms but you might want to bring a spare toothbrush, etc.
  • Condoms – condoms – condoms: a few clubs provide condoms but most don’t and you should not assume, especially if you are partial to a specific type/size/brand. Always pack some of your own.
  • Personal cards – we have our own “business” cards with contact information, etc.  Sometimes you meet people and want to stay in contact but then you are left digging for a piece of paper and a pen.  It’s just easier to be prepared.
• Open Room – This room frequently does not have a door because it has to always be open.  Some clubs just do a open room type setting with multiple beds and a ledge or short wall so that people can watch what is going on.  For an Open Room with a door, this means the door must stay open when you are playing.  (Why is there a door then?  Remember that many clubs offer overnight accommodations and that is probably one of the rooms.)
• Closed Room – Is a standard room with one, two or more double / queen beds.  The doors can be closed for these rooms.  Occasionally there is an additional request, i.e. please have more than two couples in this room, etc.
• Specialty rooms – there are all sorts of other rooms that may be available.  Anything from bondage to sex swings, a room that has a camera with a video feed to a TV within the club, rooms with peep holes in the walls so people can watch without it being too obvious.  We’ve seen rooms with revolving beds, elevated beds, “doctor’s office”, a jail, and others.
• We know of one club that has very few rooms so they have a reservation system and couples are allowed 30 minutes in the room – there is a timer and the attendant comes and asks you to get out.
• Some clubs have a Ladies Only area or an area where men can only go if they are escorted by a woman.  This is generally so that there are not a huge number of single guys standing watching and masturbating.

What to Expect

So this is your first experience at a club – what should you expect?

• Honestly, it depends on the club and, really, the night.  I think a good club tries to introduce people and get new people involved.  Our favorite club does funny / silly mixer games to get people talking and laughing.  Their hosts / hostesses are great for stopping by the table to ask how you are doing, stopping to introduce themselves, etc.
• Frequently clubs have theme nights.  One club we know does basically nothing with the theme but some clubs give prizes or have games that revolve around the theme.  Even if this is your first visit – try to find out what the theme is and participate, it’s a great way to meet people.
• Dinner is also a great way to meet people.  Sit down with other people to eat, ask to join a table.
• Private clubs in some states mean that smoking is allowed inside the club. If you are a non-smoker this can take some readjustment.  However, those clubs will have non-smoking areas and the play areas are typically non-smoking.
• We recommend bringing your own party or planning to meet people you know at the club.  We don’t like feeling pressured to Hook Up with strangers because we paid the entry fee and have to get something out of it.  If you can bring or meet friends there, you know that you will get to play but you get to enjoy the atmosphere, facilities, and eye candy (and there can be some great eye candy – a voyeur’s dream).
• If the night you attend the party is an open night, be prepared for quite a few single men.  If you are interested in a MFM, this is a perfect night for you but if you are only interested in couples, it can be a little disconcerting and uncomfortable, especially if the club allows a lot of men and they are circling like vultures.  Many clubs offer couples only nights for those who aren’t comfortable with lots of single men.

Etiquette

• Remember the number one rule – No Means No!  If you are approached by another couple, or a single, and you aren’t interested, you can say No.  If they don’t seem to be taking No for an answer then let someone with the club know – most clubs will ask the person(s) to leave.
• If you are in an Open Room or the hot tub, No still means No.  That means that people cannot, or should not, just join in or touch you without your permission.  This is especially true of single guys – who sometimes feel they can just reach out and start caressing whatever they want because it’s in an open room.  They need to Ask if it is ok.  By the same token, make sure you Ask if you are interested in joining a group.
• Closed doors are closed and should not be opened to see if the room is empty. That also means no knocking on the door.

Next: Getting Started – Hotel Parties

Related posts:

1. Tyler and Holly Give Swing Clubs Another Chance
2. Getting Started – the Playing Rules
3. Getting Started – the You
4. Getting Started – The Why
5. Getting Started – the Meeting Rules II