Intolerance – Contraception Debate, Religious Intolerance, & Grumpy Cooper


Intolerance - Contraception Debate, Religious Intolerance, & Grumpy CooperWARNING: Ahead there be politics. And religion. And sexual rights. Pretty much everything you’re not supposed to talk about at dinner. So be prepared.

With a title like “Intolerance” you’re likely expecting me to rant about the vanilla world and their intolerance for us over here on the open side. But this isn’t about that, at least not directly. It’s about me. Cooper’s favorite subject is Cooper after all. How else can he pretentiously write about himself in the third person?

I preach tolerance constantly. And as I do, I use the word preach in the most ironic fashion I possibly can. I’m all about getting along, and allowing for other people’s opinions no matter how different from yours they might be. After all, isn’t that what we’re asking of the vanillas? Let us be? Don’t get pissed at us because we’ve figured out something that goes against your ethos, or your morality, or your belief that jealousy is a healthy thing.

We want that, right? We want them to tolerate us if they can’t get behind our lifestyles.

So I think a lot about how hypocritical it is that I am becoming less and less tolerant as I get older. I’m finding it harder and harder to smile and nod as friends and acquaintances and Facebookers talk about Christ’s place in their lives. Even harder to listen to those and those with similar beliefs talk about how they don’t hate gays, they hate the sin, not the sinner. Harder and harder to even accept when people put forth the argument that the Church does some good, that conservative organizations do some good, that Susan G. Komen For The Cure had some sort of right to sentence poor women to breast cancer death when they pulled funding for BREAST CANCER SCREENINGS because of the idiotic notion that life begins anywhere but birth.

See what happened there? I just sort of went off the rails. I started trying to be accepting and TOLERANT. But I couldn’t do it.

And more and more I’m unfriending people on Facebook when they say things like “It’s about BABIES!” when we discuss the contraception mandate. Or who doesn’t understand that more birth control EQUALS fewer abortions.

Why is that such a difficult correlation to understand?

Or is Dan Savage right when he says they hate us because we’re enjoying sex. Is that REALLY it? That they feel guilty each and every time they have sex for fun, and each and every time they use a condom. And I believe that Rick Santorum asks for forgiveness from his incredibly petty and micromanaging God when he gets his little penis sucked on.

(That was unfair. I don’t actually know that Rick Santorum has a little penis. He may be massively well endowed.)

It used to be I could accept what the conservatives tell me. Yes, that’s part of our group but a fringe part. You wouldn’t judge us for the actions of our more extreme and hateful members. I’d nod and say yes, that makes sense; no, you’re not out proclaiming that I’m a sinner, or that anyone who explores themselves, their body, their sexuality, is somehow evil, or worthy of the furnace after-party.

But then I thought about that. The way they use that to get around the fact that they’re still supporting “The Church” (and I’m specifically talking about Catholicism and Emperor Palpatine in Rome here – I feel I can speak to that mostly because that’s the branch I escaped from) And all money that goes to the church is tainted.

HYPOCRITE ALERT!! Am I really saying that they can’t support part of an organization that they agree with while vocally distancing themselves from the portions they don’t agree with while I whine about Komen taking away funding for the part that they agree with because of the part they don’t, it’s the same thing I’m saying.

But here’s where my intolerance becomes what I consider justified. The intolerance of woman’s reproductive rights puts the rights of potential humans above the rights of ACTUAL LIVING BREATHING HUMANS.

If you care more about the unborn baby in a teenage girl’s belly, so you won’t help her not have that baby in the first place, because you teach abstinence only and that works SOOOO well, and you won’t allow her school to give out the condoms or knowledge she needs, and you won’t help her take care of herself if she can’t afford it, and you won’t help her raise the child after it’s born, and you cut the amount of time she can be unemployed and still make money, you’re basically saying “I don’t give a fuck how you take care of that baby you don’t want, or how you treat it after it’s born, you must have it.”

That’s an unacceptable position.

And here’s where my true intolerance comes in. I don’t want to hear about it. Those stopping gays from being allowed to legally marry are WRONG. The way those defended slavery were WRONG. The way those who said women couldn’t vote were WRONG. The way impinging on basic human rights is ALWAYS wrong.

Freedom of religion is also freedom from religion. There isn’t a war on religion, I’m sorry. There’s a war on those who feel that religion should govern everybody regardless of their beliefs.

See how intolerant I am?


About Author

Cooper S. Beckett is a relationship coach specializing in non-monogamy, author of  My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory & A Life Less Monogamous, and the co-founder of Life on the Swingset & host of its swinging & polyamory podcast. He speaks and teaches classes on pegging, swinging, polyamory, play parties, and non-monogamy. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino's radio show Sex Out Loud. He is currently working on his next novel: Approaching The Swingularity.

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